Thank you for your response...it is appreciated. Sorry your relationship did not work out.

Male

You make some good points but I think your arguments may be biased the other way.

The thing about guys wanting to do what they see in p 0 r n is an exception, not the rule, and when they do in some cases it's positive. Let's say for example some couple only ever do it missionary but the guy says hey let's try some other positions I saw in this video and they try it and end up enjoying it, or bring in a blindfold, or drip candlewax etc. etc. well guess what.. they just enhanced their sex lives. I am turned off by anal sex, though I've seen in p 0 r n, however I know there are lots of women out there who enjoy that. I probably will never do it even though I've seen it in p 0 r n, even if some future SO wanted me to. A guy who tries to inflict a threesome with another woman on his wife if she isn't the one asking for it has bad judgement or is selfish and that's not the fault of p 0 r n, that could be from any of a hundred different reasons including being dropped on his head as a baby. There's no rule for this stuff, it's all a case by case basis.

It's usually single guys who check out p 0 r n, but your requirement of always thinking about the SO seems a bit unrealistic to me and I don't think it's what would be best even if partners could do it. I mean, if I only thought about a SO all day I wouldn't be able to function in life, at work, with friends, go to the bank, refuel the car, that's why being head over heels in love is usually so short lived. I know my SO still turns her head when a guy with a nice butt passes her by on the street. I know she still has dirty thoughts when she sees the ads for Troy. It's fine. I'm glad she has a healthy sex drive. As long as she doesn't act on those feelings towards other guys there's no problem.

The rest of it I mean so many women kid themselves and think they're above men who check out p 0 r n, but there are a hundred other outlets for women (not so visual but more sensual) that serve the same purpose, get em fantasizing about sex, but they fool themselves it's somehow different from p 0 r nography. Soap Operas, Harlequin 'Romance' Novels, Cosmopolitan et. al. They're all equally formulaic as p 0 r n is. A lot of it also has the same element of misandry as some p 0 r n does. "Mistress Claira knew what she wanted from the tall pirate and she was going to take it!" I've read the fashion mags. They are always talking about how to manipulate your boyfriend, how to manipulate your husband, how to get them to do what you want them to. And when women 'dish' with each other half the time it's just a big man bashing session. "my man's such a slob" "oh don't worry Suzy, all men are" A lot of the responses by women to women on this here forum are very misandryous (sp?). And I don't know any guy who has a rubber vagina in his dresser, I've known dozens of women who keep a particular shaped piece of plastic.. I found about these purchasing parties or whatever you call them a few years back, that's not the classiest habit the gentler sex has been known to maintain but it's ok, it doesn't upset me, if it makes your time alone more satisfying for you then more power to you.

So the point I'm trying to make is I know sometimes p 0 r n can be a bad thing for already-stupid guys but if kept in context it can be a good thing and females have equivalent stuff too.

I agree (women) although my husband does not care for porn it really does not bother me . But I think it is safe to say women and men see this issue completely different .

It seems men are trying to justify it. But look at how many men go to strip clubs.

How much experience do you need to become a man? Fool.

You're obviously hanging with the wrong crowd, p 0 r n isn't a pass time like reading romance novels or watching soaps "excellent post #18946 by the way", we don't watch it as a form of 'entertainment', it's to get a certain thing done, so to speak.

If you were a man, you would understand that p 0 r n isn't progamming anything at all. When people watch TV, they think, guess, and learn from these things, it inspires us to do things that sometimes has completely nothing to do with whatever we watched. Do you seriously think that watching p 0 r n is a 'learning' experience? LOL! when you have sex, do you try thinking what you're gonna cook for dinner, or anything like that for the matter? Of course you can learn from p 0 r n, like different moves and such, but is that what you could call a negative experience?

Did you know that a study showed that, from rapists, the reasons why they did it were because they were either drunk or horny, not one replied that p 0 r n was the problem. Most people who are horny look at p 0 r n, doesn't p 0 r n make it somewhat safer? if p 0 r n didn't exist, I can obviously say that rape would be higher.

Now, I'm not saying it's good to watch p 0 r n in a relationship or anything like that, what I'm saying is don't draw to conclusions from your own experiences, that's what creates racism, bad first impressions, sexe bashing and other terrible things in this world.

Look around deeper in the sex forum and you'll understand truly why men 'look at p 0 r n'.

Loved your answer. Feel like keeping it.
We have to pay attention to what we feel. When I found my BF was looking at P I felt bad. I tried to be open minded about it but I felt upset. I did not even want his touch. No matter how I try to rationalize it (and I also get turned on my it when I look at it alone), I felt rejected. I do not watch it with him because I cannnot bear seeing him being turned on by another woman, even in a computer/tv screen. Also, often these women are 20 years younger than me with perfect bodies and faces, which doesn't make me feel that great.
So I avoid it. It's my preference. I respect those who like it and don't mind it. I think it does influence the way you think about relationships. You can start thinking it is ok to have S with that stranger in the metro or an orgy with your best friends. And we all know these things just mess up your mind.

As well as it should. Films should enhance and not degrade.
If one could find a "soft p 0 r n" ( was that Russ Meyer's idea ?)to watch together, I believe it would enhance a sex life between 2 people. Regular p 0 r n is just too crude to do the job right. I believe it should be one on one, not multiple partners. It's a wonder that they all don't have social diseases. I guess some do.
A pleasant love story with some minor nudity would be good to watch together to stimulate a relationship.

Very well said. You are an understanding person.