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Looking ahead
“People who say that life is not worthwhile are really saying that they themselves have no personal goals which are worthwhile. Get yourself a goal worth working for. Better still, get yourself a project. Always have something ahead of you to ''look forward to'' / to work for and hope for.”
Maxwell Maltz quotes (US plastic surgeon, motivational author, and creator of the Psycho-Cybernetics, 1927-2003
Date: 6/16/2007 9:33:15 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 2002 times I made a comment to a friend today that struck me. I told her," I am not a high school kid anymore and I prefer it that way. There were too many bad memories during my teens and I don't want to go back. I am only looking forwards from now on."
Who am I? I am a child of God. I am a medical student, aspiring to be a good doctor who contributes immensely to both humanity and science. I am currently exploring the different specialities of medicine; I am interested in neurosurgery but have began to see potential in paedeattrics. I just turned 21 this year. I enjoy travelling the mediterranean and china. I love jazz music and play both classical piano and violin. I like to try all sorts of sports and am interested in pushing my physical limits. I tremendously indulge in english, mathematics, history during my spare time. I enjoy painting and photography. I am inclined to movies with historical significance and victory of the human spirit over the extreme odds of life. with with. I believe in love and hope and possibilities. I have a very contemporary mindset and always think out of the box. The risks I take elicit both positive and negative opinions, but I choose not to compromise my adventurous attitude towards life. My mantra is La Bella Vita: I live with panache, where what counts are the moments that take away rather than the nukber of breaths I take;I live with verve, where I can say "I'm glad I did" rather than "I wished I did; I live with wholeomeness, where I understand the synergistic coupling of working hard and playing hard; I live with childlike wonder where at every turn, life puts a "wow" on my lips; I live with faith, where be believing, the magic begins. I strongly believe in the freedom of the soul and dislike strict rules and wish to get a tattoo on my wrist "Ben ozgur bir kadinim" (turkish for I am a free woman) after this fast. I am an introspective intelligent girl who has issues with the constant worry of being too fat and some problems regulating my self-esteem. I am a pretty asian, with very blessed feature--big eyes, fair skin, delicate nose, rose lips, lustrous thick black hair and crazy curves. I am a jeans girl but have recently begin to enjoy my feminine nature with short flirty dresses. My fashion motto is always elegant and put together, with little to zero makeup. My signature pieces are bold earrings and sexy heels. I am not a food fanatic but love pizza, ice-cream, chinese food and turkish delights. My dream is to write and publish a book, topic still uncertain. I would like to live in the mediterranean in my own house which is somewhere near a beach and with a huge garden.
My problematic past: came from a violent family with a type a male-dominating father and a insecure mother (I moved out this year and hope to be given a personal protection order), suffer from low self-esteem (which I am working with a therapist right now), bad eating disorders (constantly dieting, binge/purge, bulimia), hopping in relationships and eczema (used steriods for 4 years then quit at 19 to find a natural cure which got me to curezone).
Yes, a lot to learn from but nothing to go back to. I think the biggest plus I gained from the whole period was a discovery of a very strong self-identity.
What I have to look forward to? I have a huge potential in medicine ahead of me with plans to become a specialist. I plan to complete my bond, break a year or two earlier and migrate overseas. I am torn between working in Canada or the mediterraean, because I have decided that I will not walk the same path as every normal money-driven mundane human being, but live this one short life with a lifestyle I desire and both of these countries/regions provide me just that. I have a spectacular boyfriend who has shared two wonderful but rocky years with me and may be "the one", but only if he promises me to quit smoking and start taking steps in keeping healthy. Possible obstacles are his age( he is 18 years my senior and may have a diverging life journey). I am making wiser choices about my health, beginning with fasting and becomin a lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am working part-time to finance myself, my academics(I hope that I will be a successful scholarship receipient as well) and travelling (obviously beginning with Turkey where my boyfriend comes from). I want to heal my eczema completely and wear short pants. I want to learn to cook and apply makeup (serious, I am still amazed how girls know so much about cosmetics).
So I am looking ahead because I believe in opportunities and possibilities more than entrapment in my past. I am only looking forwards from now on.
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