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Day 1
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl
Date: 6/13/2007 8:36:34 PM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 2070 times Symptoms:
skin:
face dry
neck dry
shoulder dry
chest dry
abdomen smooth
pelvis dry
upper arm smooth
elbow dry, slight inflammation
lower arm smooth
right wrist smooth
hand smooth
inner thigh a little dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap mildly dry, inflamation, skin has repaired
back of knee dry, inflammed
lower leg (front)dry scattered bruises, dry and dull
feet ventrum dry and mildly inflammed
ankles ok
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:--
BM:--
others:
overall:could use more sleep
sleep: 10 hrs
Exercise
1.went to clinics
2.taught my student at Pandan Valley
Goals:
1. I want fantastic health, free of diseases and addictions.
2. Clear eczema
3. Lose 10kg
Something really strange happened. I slept alot during the day and evening, but for the first time in my sleep, I was not sure whether I was awake or asleep because I dreamt of myself gorging on food (burgers, cookies, chips, rice) and felt totally guilty. When I opened my eyes and laid in bed, i initially thought "shit, did I actually eat again?" I closed my eyes, dozed off and awoke again. Then, it hit me it was just a dream.
It must have been my brain's subconscious memory of my roommates' foods. When I awoke from my afternoon nap, I saw her indulging in roasted Hainanese chicken rice and pineapple. The aroma saturated the entire room. I slept early after watching discovery channel and woke up in the middle of the night, only to find her still awake and eating chocolate chip cookies. I went back to sleep after till the sun was up. In addition to the visual reminders of food, I think my body's subconsicous desire for food kicked in.
Nonetheless, I actually went one day without food. I am proud.
I am trying to stay positive about the whole 21day water fast, and sincerely hope to saee dramatic imrpovements in healing in my body with each week. If I can put on a pair of short shorts at the end of this fast, I will be the happiest girl in the world.
Which reminds me, I have to make a new reservation for my trip to Turkey. I am spendng 5 weeks of summer vacation with him touring his country. I miss him dearly. It is insane to have a long-distance boyfriend.
By the way, I will be moving my stuff to my own house for the next two weeks so there is a lot to plan and write about.
Currently, I have a nagging worry regarding medical school. As I have moved away from my family because of the turbulent family environment (I have been physically, psychologically, emotionally abused and am applying for personal protection order presently), concerns of my $400,000 medical bond with the governemnet and my $17,520/yr school fees have risen up to the 2nd on my priority list. Because my medical bond with the government is signed by my parents (two sureties) and me, if they successfully withdraw form the contract, my relatives are not willing to be my guarantors for my tuition fee loan because the penalty $400,000 is too heavy for them to bear. Of course, if my application for my TKC Scholarship is succcessful, I will not have to worry anymore about the study loan. But there is that what if I am not successful in obtaining the scholarship?
Right now, the Ministry of Health has given priority to my case and the staff are checking for me whether:
1. my parnets are legally obligated to the legal contract and how easy it is for them to retract commitment
2. if my parents were successful in withdrawing from the legal contract, where will I stand and will MOH be more lenient with my situation in searching for a replacement surety?
I am perturbed because the governemnt works at such a slow pace and my deadline for the tuition fee loan is June 30. I need to make sure the bond is secured, then my relatives will be at peace to help me out with my tuition fee loan. Shit, this is such a pain in the neck.
Yup, if there's any new stuff, I will update. Do drop a comment or two.
Lots of love.
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