Back on track!
Date: 5/30/2006 10:59:04 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 2249 times
I had a wonderful trip - but I learned a lot about myself!! Not all of it was good.
I totally freaked out about my weight before I left on my trip. I couldn't handle eating, even if it was raw. I think some of my disordered eating was rearing its ugly head in response to the stress of getting ready to travel, and to deal with family.
I decided to juice again. But I was on the road, so I knew it would be hard. I was able to juice another four days on the trip. But my parents juicer stunk and I didn't bring mine, and everything got really overwhelming and hard. I ended up eating again. I started raw, but did have some cooked vegan, including wheat which is just the DEVIL. I hate how wheat makes me feel.
To make matters even worse, I decided to drink a little bit, too. I haven't ever been much of a drinker, and I haven't had a single drink for a long time. I had one with my sister two days before her wedding, and one at the rehearsal dinner. They made me feel icky, but not terrible.
I got completely drunk at the reception and I nearly poisoned myself. I blacked out, threw up, and passed out! It was terrible. I don't know what got into me! I am still pretty sick from it. I hit my head somehow and have bruises all over me! I feel shaky and ill, still, two days later! I also haven't had more than four hours of sleep a night! I am exhausted.
But I realized how much it matters to me to embrace my health and stay on my even keel. I love juicing. I love how it makes me feel. I also need to do a lot of work on my food issues. I can't stand the feeling of food in my stomach, which probably I will have to address at some point.
Anyway, I'm back. I will begin fasting again in the morning, May 31st. I hope to go another 30 days.
I hope to quickly loose all the water weight I've put on. I also hope to work the effects of that alcohol out of my system really soon. I will probably post every day!
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