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early morning musings
how to rid myself of others energy. this is not the life i want
Date: 5/21/2005 6:04:45 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 3089 times Couldn't sleep, so I thought I might as well get up and try to get my thoughts down on paper, which always seems to help me gain some clarity about my situation.
I had a fight with my husband yesterday, because he made a comment about my plant pots. WHAT!! YOU SAY WHAT!!
Yes, my clay pots I use for my flowers.
My daughter is arriving Tuesday, and I am occupied trying to make everything nice for her visit. So she can rest and enjoy some time by herself. I can remember how nice that is, having a place to go where you can just think about yourself for a few
days.
For me
it was going to my mothers it was always a refuge from all my responsibilities. I am thinking a serene, calm setting will be good for both of us.
Something we will both remember.
I keep most of my pots in the storage locker, and I have many, maybe a hundred. I have collected them over the years(in every size)brought many of them from Maine when I moved here 15years ago.
I realize they take up a lot of room, but we have a large locker and I do keep them very neatly stacked along the side walls of the locker.
So, my husband, seeing me pull out two or three pots and carrying them to the car.
Says,
"All you do is take more of these things home, but you never bring any back."
That is all he said, and I began to shake.
If ever I could have possessed any superhuman powers and it could have been at that moment. I would banish him from my life. Gone.
I just want the easy way out, so I don't have to face another one of my mistakes.
My reply to his statement. I don't even remember. Maybe something like.
"Why do you stick your nose into what I am doing?"
It was all downhill from there, looks from two pair of dark eyes flashed venem back and forth.
The rest of the afternoon and evening was spent, of course in silence, which is in someway comforting to me. He seems less intrusive to my life, when he doesn't talk to me.
We had been to the nursing home the hour before: to visit my friend who has overian cancer. She had come home for about a week a month or so ago. I took care of her for three day, and then she was back in the hospital with a bowl obstruction, and then a staff infection. She is a little stronger now and wants to come home again. On Monday I will start helping her in the mornings, along with her daughter and my friend Flo, who is a nursing assistant and a couple of others.
Its a is great team, all who will be working to make life as easy as possible and as healthy as possible. The food in the nusing home. Well I can't even say anything really, how could they prepare such meals: a toasted cheese sandwich and pot roast for someone recovering from cancer? I ask you what is the thinking? It isn't one of helping assist my friend or anyones family member to get well and return to a life of their choice with some hope of recovery.
You will die from the food they serve you in these nursing homes.
So I am in charge of her food when she comes home.
JUICES: blends that I have used for others who have been ill. With carrot as the base. She is full of fluid, so cucumber juice will be incoprorated. Also, raw soups. In fact today I will make some veggie stock I can use to thin out the soups My dear old friend is so weak, she gets tired talking, few minutes
does her in--
she has to sleep.
I feel very drained this am.
I am off my path
I worked on re-doing the first page of my web site, as I now have a real webmaster to help me. Right now its just a mish mash of my political ramblings on how the health of Americans is being manipulated:doesn't work for
the home page of a web site promoting raw food diet.
www.faeyhslifetimesolutions.com
Next post will be a couple of my recipes.
Hope this is readable, I didn't do back a re-read it. How about that sentence?
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