End of Day by LIndaWu Blog entry

Blog: #21dc
by LIndaWu

End of Day

I wind down for the day.

Date: 1/18/2016 10:14:10 PM ( 8 y ) ... viewed 1005 times

Watched CrashCourse History. Learned how important fast-speed communication is, because news couldn't get around fast enough. Transportation is also important. Also knowledge, family, and faith. Slaves weren't allowed to read, because knowledge gave them power.

Wow, I think I might even want to eat one cauliflower bite right now. But I am not allowed to eat sauces. It's so bitter. Nothing to do. Maybe if I occupy myself... Oh yeah, I am supposed to get broken, so no cauliflower.

What to do? I can't watch another history video. I want to sleep in twenty minutes. What to do for twenty minutes? I am gonna pray for twenty minutes.

Dear God, thank you for this blessed day, thank you for this beat in my heart, and thank you for this breath in my lungs. God, I will try to learn as much as possible to gain power. I just realized how important knowledge is.

God, from now on all my blog entries will be addressing you, because I want to get personal with you, God. I want to develop an awe of the world, God. So on Thursday when I go to my psychologist, I want to tell Betsy that some added goals are to develop an awe of the world, to use my heart more, and to have stronger will to live. We already agreed on developing coping skills, stabilizing mood, increasing goal-directed behavior, and increasing EQ as goals.

Today was fairly pleasant. I didn't eat too much, just a block of tofu, a cup of boiled kidney beans and peanuts, and two bites of raw cauliflower around 10 a.m.. Writing here helped me get through it. Thank you for the food, God. Thank you for the iPad, the Internet, and CureZone that made writing possible. Thank you for the Christian hip-hop music that inspired me. Thank you for my beautiful voice, God, for my voice to have the potential and the capability to be beautiful and happy. Thank you for giving me ears to hear my voice and to enjoy the beauty in my voice. Thank you for PsyBlog and the news of a study that found changing your voice changes your mood.

I have so many gifts from you, God, special moments, special feelings; thank you for the specialness that I feel, like it's invaluable and priceless. It is a step towards feeling awe.

Thank you for my neighbor, Hong, and her special, dear children. Thank you for giving her that movie to watch, so that she could tell me the story about the will to live.

I have new life because of you, Lord. I can't wait to continue having a more structured and satisfactory life.

Lord, I am not sure whether I am tired or not. I feel tired for a second, and then it goes away and I become very energetic. Let's see. If I am waking up at 5:38, then it's six hours of sleep time. Is that enough? I am just not tired. Well, I am excited for the first day of school and don't want to be tired on the first day, so guess sleep is in order. Have to force myself to do it though, because staying up is fun. Oh, Lord, watch over me and my dreams. I love you. Amen.