Re: Help Wanted! My story with Spirit Voices.

All good points. Thank you.

I sure did let my guard down, big time. As for claiming the healings as my own, I never have. It was not the point of my story so I did not emphasize it, but I always tried to make it clear to my patients that I am only a channel. The results of my healing sessions impressed many people; I was repeatedly asked if anyone can learn it. I said, yes, absolutely. Realistically, though, some will be better at it than others, as in any endeavor, including sports, business and arts. I've invested a lot of time, effort and money into my training and cultivation of abilities; I've sacrificed a much, including prestige, by the way. My ego would have been better flattered being a Physical Therapist, which I am, rather than an energy healer, a title anybody, anybody with no tainting or little ability can claim. Still, it is God who has given my abilities to me, God deserves the credit for healings too.

These beings tried, and still do, distance me from God. As I’ve become more and more able to affect others, they’ve tried to convince me that I am the most powerful man in the world, and later even, that I was the God. When I still had faith in the voices, I entertained the idea in the Eastern way of thinking; maybe, I thought, I was becoming a fully realized being, like a Buddha, a potential that is there for every person. I was experiencing symptoms of what many people gone before me have called Kundalini awakening. I continued asking that I be shown the truth. When voices insisted that I am the only God, I got concerned; it was then when I realized that I am most probably being lied to. The threshold of my believe in the voices was crossed when they told me that since I'm God I should be rude and abusive to others. When I not only not follow this guidance but actively protested, voices got pissed, and it went steeply downhill from there. My main believe was and remains that I am a creation of God; as a healer I am a channel of his gifts to the world, as any person.

Similarly to Job, in the bible, I've prayed many times that I would be given a fare trial if I've committed a blasphemy or any other sin. I don't claim to be a saint. I had my share of mistakes, most due to ignorance though, not evil intent. I wish every sentient being to be happy. Interestingly enough, voices tried to play off of this, by telling me: 'see, you're the only one like that, you are God'. Perhaps they would have pulled me a bit further into trying for a size that idea, if they proceeded by helping me be a better channel of love and wisdom in this world, in line with my personal mission, but apparently they had radically different objectives. I fully believe that some dark forces had an eye on me, and then attacked me in my moment of vulnerability.

My greatest sin which led to this affliction, I think, was that I was too naive, too trusting. I took 'be like children' advice way too much to a heart in the world which is not very forgiving. I hope and pray that God will hear me. I bless God for all that I received and pray that if it is his will that I continue living, I be freed from this torment and given an opportunity to be a more pure channel of love and healing. It is easy to see a lot of evil on the human level; it’s all over evening news: war, persecution, crime, violence. Now, the war of Light and darkness in spiritual realm became just as real to me. I pray that forces of Light come to help me in the battlefield which has become my mind and my body. As I'm writing this, the voices are changing that bull-shitters invented all this, and that it is all bull-shit. I said it many times before, and I'll declare it again publicly, on this forum: I believe this amazing and beautiful world is a sacred creation of God, God I believe is loving, true and just. I believe Good will prevail.
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