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He tells me he loves me.
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Date: 7/27/2010 6:17:19 AM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1397 times Well, the tables have turned completely to face the other direction entirely. I thought I'd feel differently than I do. Somehow deeply peaceful, calm and content. I guess today more so than yesterday.
My ex-husband told me he loves me after reading "The Family Afterward" in the Sunday AA meeting.
Still raw-vegan. Thankfully. Had two power-walks yesterday just to keep me on this planet. Was I ever distracted. Came home last night after another AA meeting and cleaned my house and called my sponsor. I called my prayer friend and we prayed for G*d's wisdom and peace to fill me.
I was completely shaken. He wants to reconcile - dependent upon his teenage son's approvals. Well, I have not finished my amends to his family as I have not approached them per his instruction. Now, I will submit letters of amends to the 17 year old (who is now expecting a child in December) and to the 16 year old. I must truly put myself in their shoes, dig deep and just clean the wreckage with no expectations. Only love for their well-being.
As planned I will see his elderly mother this morning. I am told she is dying and I now have his permission to see her. I would not approach any of his family without his consent. I truly believe that I needed to concede full power in this. My alcoholism trampled him and he needed to have his power back. It would not be respectful, I truly believe, after the way I treated him to just make amends wherever I thought I should and could. "...except when to do so would injure them or others." It would have injured him emotionally.
So, I am to continue with my studies and to continue on my path of amends and he has offered to stay out of my meetings. If he wishes to see me, he can ask me out on a date and we can see what develops. None of this willy-nilly AA meeting courtship. I go there to save my life, not to date men.
A year ago we read "The Family Afterward" (before I asked him to stay out of my meetings) he smirked through it. How different Sunday was.
So, this morning I am going to go for a quick power walk around the village, dress and prepare my food, go see D** and then go to work. Tonight, my home group and then study till 10:30pm.
Have a really good day!
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