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Hmmmm...
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Date: 7/21/2010 10:19:59 AM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1923 times Today's trough o'salad is local red leaf lettuce, yellow onion, plum tomato, ripe peaches, sunflower seeds and garlic/peppercorn vinegar dressing.
>sigh<
>heavy sigh<
I have leftover salad from Monday to eat on Tuesday and I ate my tofu, dates, banana and PB all day instead. I suffered at 9pm. I was manic. Truly manic and tired. I ate and went to sleep by 10:30. I awoke and it was still dark - probably about 4 or so. I felt good. Got up at 6 and went for a really good power walk. I get my upper body involved. I air punch alcoholism. I raise my arms up, down, back and forth. I push my legs forward and my hips steady. I worked it this morning and I feel a tiny bit slimmer than I have been the past month because of it. I push myself hard. It feels good to get my anger out on the open air.
I've done 3 contracts already this morning and I have 2 in queue. I caught a mistake before anyone else could. I've eaten about 1/4 cup of prepared horseradish and half a banana this morning. I'm drinking filtered water with raw vinegar and I'm just now digging into my salad.
I am not really looking forward to the nursing home tomorrow when I think of how sad I feel and how hard it is to see people at the end of their road in life. Some are suffering from dementia and it is hard to see them angry and yelling. It's hard to smell the smells, see the sights, feel my feelings.
This is what I chose to do so that I may care about people on a deeper level than I have been in this lifetime. I have chosen this to be more useful in this world. That is why I go - to serve. Now, it is my job to turn this around in my head and deal with it in a very positive way. It will serve the greater good and it will serve G*d's purpose for me. This I cannot deny or argue with - so therefore I must do this.
Will I accept a full-time job? I will not even go there until I know I've passed the licensing exam. That's my first concern.
So, lunch and back to work. Then tonight, maybe a quick power walk and study time. Outside if it's not raining.
xo
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