Re: Bittersweet...

hi ive been in a relationship with a narsist for 6 yrs iv had a child with him, ive been through so much which i wont get into as it would take forever but recently he left me yet again for the i dunno 10th time in 2 years. he always made me feel bad about my self and like it was my fault,he gets bored he leaves if he doesnt need me he leaves the last time i suported him for two weeks before he started his job he was previuosly unemployed, and then like that he left after his first pay check he promised to pay me back when he got paid and never did so basically hes left me finacially ruined but mostly its the way im feeling i cant deal with.in the back of my mind i know hell suck his way back into my life and im scared ill be sucked in again but the way im feeling i hate him so much and i dont care to see him again im torn how do i erase him from my life when i know hell be calling again. hes often rang up wanting to suicide so he says and ofcourse of my nature i feel sorry for him but i dont want to not ever again.from what ive been reading ive prob;ly been playing right into his hands how do i smarten up, how do i not blame myself, basically hes sucked the life right out of me even though hes not here i still feel like im walking on eggshells like i can never be free of him