Bittersweet...

When I got home last night, the house was empty. My mother was gone. I kept saying how I couldn't wait for things to be "over". But as soon as I pulled into the driveway, this heavy feeling of sadness just hit me. I walked all through the downstairs in a fog. Naturally she left it a mess. Dirty like you would not believe. She also left things that my husband and I had given her as Christmas gifts over the years and some cards we gave her back in 1996. She did take the shower curtain set I had specially made for the downstairs bathroom. That irked me a little. Mostly I was sad, and it really surprised me.
For some reason I was not expecting to feel like that. It just kind of lingered all night. Today I am sick with a head cold, so my mind is a little numb.