From your pov, you're feeling as though you're the 'one to avoid'. YOU, my dear, are to be PURSUED for the wealth of knowledge, care & concern which you demonstrate on this forum alone. It truly is THEIR problem..not yours. You're simply being true to self & those whom you love. You're coming from your own Truth. I salute you for that. It's a virtue. :)
There's a wonderful book entitled "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. I think you may benefit by it. I know I did.