Re: uRGENT Crisis!!! Please help!!

Wow, why does this happen? Life is so complicated when philosophical ideals are driven down the throats of those that do not want or desire to live that ideal.

When I read your post, my heart went out to you. I'm 51, and I have a lot of hindsight issues right now. At 51, this is what i have learned.

No one knows, but you may only have this life to live.
Social and religious ideals can be vacant and meaningless if they cause you to go against your own personal beliefs.
No one should be miserable.
It's a great big world with much to experience and learn.
You can't learn in a vaccuum.
Abuse is wrong, in ALL forms.
Parents are expendable if the situation warrants extreme action.
Husbands are expendable if the situation warrants extreme action.

And in situations of abuse, the first thing one does as an abused victim is justify the abuse...we know they can't help it...grew up with it...it is part of their culture. You, my dear, are suffering from a classic abuse denial. If you google characteristics of abuse victims, I think you might have a real awakening. Maybe more than you are prepared for.

I have been fairly lucky in my life, but I had to get myself out of some very abusive situations to find peace. It was hard but I survived and flourished.

I am a white anglo saxon protestant. I have no idea what challenges you are facing with your background. The place I come from is human. Basic human dignity and freedom.

Here is what I want you to think about now. Project yourself into the future. What are you going to be like in 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 30 years? The choice you make will create your destiny. You know in your heart what you want your destiny to look like...make it happen.

That is a tough place you are in and I validate your distress. I wish you all the best.

Molly