Re: my indigo daughter...and i came full circle tonight

hello, it is so hard to find time to answer in a decent way!

my baby now sleeps ( here in Italy it's 21.30 now). I only have one child and honestly I don't know how could I have more at the moment...I want to give her siblings, but I think I ain't yet ready for another one.

My daughter hasn't been like that since birth...she has always been a strong minded and willed baby, but in the past 6 months she has got a lot worse. Sometimes I think that it might be up to me, I should develop skills to help her overcome bad habits and control her anger.
I am esp. worried of her repeating all day long "I am tired" . She does so every now and then and every time she feels frustrated ( very easily) for not being able to do something or getting bored while I work etc. "I am tired" basically means she wants to go in her bed with pacifier (bed is the only place where she is allowed to use it). I wonder if she might have some kind of depression. I habe noticed that she gets a lot worse when allowed to watch DVDs ( luckily we dont have TV), so I avoid it as much as possible, I strongly suggest you to do the same.

Today was such a difficult day, she is totally uncooperative , it's hard to describe, everything is a NO-NO, from washing hands to stay sitting still while eating, even walking...she wants to be carried a lot. I live on 6th floor with no elevATOR and getting home with child and grocery bags can be challenging. Husband can give little to no help. At times I wish I could afford a babysitter just for a few hours to have the time to take a bath or fix a bit the messy house...My parents live 500 miles away and I see them once a month or so, they have been supportive in very concrete ways, but no emotional support of any kind, esp. from my mother . So I can understand you when you say that your mother is negative and seeing her is hurtful. I have the kind of mom who never gives an appreciation and judges everything. And it is oh, SO hard not to behave in the same way if I don't think twice before taking action or speaking . It's just the way we were taught and we tend to automatically repeat our parent's mistakes.
I, too, must deal with unresolved issues. I, too, have nonsense yelling moments. I thought that it was up to my father's frequent angers when I was a child, but maybe it's all about me instead. Praying helps a lot. SLEEPING MORE is very important, and it has been a KEY FACTOR in dealing with the yelling thing.

About the emotional scars I wanted to stress out how the attachment factor is crucial, I have read somewhere that children feel your true intentions and not your external behavior, so I encourage you to forgive yourself and just think about the present and future.

Talk less, act more, this may be a good advice for both of us. Don't talk it over. Show forgiveness and take it easy, and try to change YOUR mood and YOUR feelings. I believe this is a HUGE factor. Children are sponge-like.

I have a thousand things to say to you. You can email me if you wish at the mail address I wrote on the 1st post. I will then give you another email.

hugs