hello, I am 26 with a 3 y old and I understand all of your problems both with yr mother and with yr daughter...I have very little time to answer to you now, but I wanted you to know that I am willing to give you support and exchange advices about parenting spirited children. (Although I don't know much about indigos I would not be surprised to learn that I am one, and my daughter may well be one either, is there an "indigo test" on the web??).
Please email me at fedra.lui@gmail.com. I will then give you another email address. I hope to hear from you soon