This sound like exactly what was happening to me with my ex boyfriend that I have come to refer to as "Mr. Lye". I have had another partner recently and do not get this with him.
If I recall Mr, Lye had some fungal foot issues too.
Anyway, I feel for you ladies because you are married and it must be hard when you love someone and there is so much pain and trauma related to making love. When I was dating Mr. Lye, I looked all over the internet and found very little information on this. Some sources said it was the sperm making my vagina alkaline which caused the bacteria to grow. That is how I have come to call him Mr. Lye. Well that and for other reasons. The name suits him perfectly. One thing for certain though it is not all sperm, it was HIS sperm.
But is it because it was something contagious or is it because something was making his sperm very alkaline or was it just a clash of body chemistries. There is very little info availbable about this subject.