Re:Long Distant Triad

Ironically once you get something you've sought, i.e. her apology, you see her as hapless and weak and she has earned your contempt. You will be caught inevitably and now that she's going to grovel when she sees you have your ex in the wings (as she's already given indicators that she wants you still in her life) you will be confronted with the REAL decision and have to face your own worse fears. Is this all there is to life? Am I still desireable? I tried to be a good husband and was met with her nagging insecurity and when I pushed the point she capitulated and now I've lost respect for her...nobody wants to be with someone they don't respect.
Take my advice, tell your wife that all the years of nagging did a huge amount of damage and that though her apology is necessary and appreciated she has to go further with you and rebuild the relationship and earn your RESPECT again. If that means taking better care of herself, her career, whatever, she has to do something to make you take a second look at her. Studies show that if you tough it out EVEN in a sucky marriage you will be FAR happier than if you succumb to the temptations of the ex. Practically speaking, it would never work with the ex, your kids would hate you if you married her and dumped Mom, and they'll hate you even if you get caught in an internet affair (especially sons), and if you love your kids, then FIRMLY refocus onto your marriage and tell your wife in no uncertain terms exactly what you'd need to be happy again. REMEMBER that happiness is a CHOICE and you will have to dump the ex, but she's also playing with fire with a married man and you can tell her she won't want to live with the label "home-wrecker". You're on thin ice here, you'd better tread awfully carefully!!!!!!!!! Tweet