Re: Neglected and Hurt

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> Well to start off with I am feeling so confused. My husband gives me bad vibes sometimes and I don't know how to take them. First,he is a Police Officer and works 12 hours a day for 4 days...He rotates 4 days on 4 days off. The vibes he gives me are that he isn't interested in me anymore and when he gets off work all he does is watch TV and goes to sleep. We very seldom communicate unless it is something he is interested in, for instance Nascar Racing.

Hey confused I can't believe that no one has replied to your message.
I don't usually give advice, except you need it. Firstly forget the baby for now. After you give birth your story here would be exactly the same except you will be changing nappies and doing everything all by yourself. They say women are confusing creatures, but jeepers those men are hard to fathom too. I guess it is hard to tell what someone else is thinking. For starters, this is what I do....wait till you are home alone, go into the bathroom, shut the door. Look yourself straight in the eyes in the mirror and have a damn good talking to yourself, and him too! Say what is on your mind, get it all out, cry, get angry, tell your self you are worth more than this. Think back to before you were together, didn't you have more self esteem then? Would you have taken this situation from a boyfriend? Didn't you expect more respect than this? You got to get out, get a job if you haven't got one. Find interests outside the home, be your own person! Other people find you interesting, get your respect from out side the house. I am sure I don't have to tell you how many times we can degrade ourselves in front of our partners by being the weak one. Other people have so much power over us if we let them. He might think you are not the person he was expecting, but neither is he the man you were expecting to spend the rest of your life with! All I know is get an interest outside..be interesting, have other things to chat about besides the price of laundry detergent..( I am remembering myself here!). Stop being so reliant on this man to make you happy, make your self happy. Getting married doesn't mean he holds the oxygen mask that allows you to breathe. You obviously still love him if you were thinking of having a baby, but let me tell you this..when I sit on the floor going thru' the photo albums with my five year old daughter, looking at all the pictures of daddy sleeping on the lounge or sitting on the lounge having his "few after a hard days plumbing" whatching the telly, or the other 50 pics we have of daddy sleeping on the lounge, she laughs, but inside I am crying! I picked up my bag and I went out and found something that interested me, I went for walks, I joined yoga, just for the intermingleing, I changed my shifts at work so I wasn't home when he slumped on the lounge, I let him get his own tea. He's still sleeping in the lounge and can only talk about boats, fishing and the horse racing, but I am having a nice time and have met some great people. When he ends up in a nursing home when he's old, I will surely buy him a lovely soft easy chair to kick back in!!!
Let us know how you are going, you left your message ages ago.
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