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> Well to start off with I am feeling so confused. My husband gives me bad vibes sometimes and I don't know how to take them. First,he is a Police Officer and works 12 hours a day for 4 days...He rotates 4 days on 4 days off. The vibes he gives me are that he isn't interested in me anymore and when he gets off work all he does is watch TV and goes to sleep. We very seldom communicate unless it is something he is interested in, for instance Nascar Racing.

Hey confused I can't believe that no one has replied to your message.
I don't usually give advice, except you need it. Firstly forget the baby for now. After you give birth your story here would be exactly the same except you will be changing nappies and doing everything all by yourself. They say women are confusing creatures, but jeepers those men are hard to fathom too. I guess it is hard to tell what someone else is thinking. For starters, this is what I do....wait till you are home alone, go into the bathroom, shut the door. Look yourself straight in the eyes in the mirror and have a damn good talking to yourself, and him too! Say what is on your mind, get it all out, cry, get angry, tell your self you are worth more than this. Think back to before you were together, didn't you have more self esteem then? Would you have taken this situation from a boyfriend? Didn't you expect more respect than this? You got to get out, get a job if you haven't got one. Find interests outside the home, be your own person! Other people find you interesting, get your respect from out side the house. I am sure I don't have to tell you how many times we can degrade ourselves in front of our partners by being the weak one. Other people have so much power over us if we let them. He might think you are not the person he was expecting, but neither is he the man you were expecting to spend the rest of your life with! All I know is get an interest outside..be interesting, have other things to chat about besides the price of laundry detergent..( I am remembering myself here!). Stop being so reliant on this man to make you happy, make your self happy. Getting married doesn't mean he holds the oxygen mask that allows you to breathe. You obviously still love him if you were thinking of having a baby, but let me tell you this..when I sit on the floor going thru' the photo albums with my five year old daughter, looking at all the pictures of daddy sleeping on the lounge or sitting on the lounge having his "few after a hard days plumbing" whatching the telly, or the other 50 pics we have of daddy sleeping on the lounge, she laughs, but inside I am crying! I picked up my bag and I went out and found something that interested me, I went for walks, I joined yoga, just for the intermingleing, I changed my shifts at work so I wasn't home when he slumped on the lounge, I let him get his own tea. He's still sleeping in the lounge and can only talk about boats, fishing and the horse racing, but I am having a nice time and have met some great people. When he ends up in a nursing home when he's old, I will surely buy him a lovely soft easy chair to kick back in!!!
Let us know how you are going, you left your message ages ago.
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> The vibes he gives me are that he isn't interested in me anymore and when he gets off work all he does is watch TV and goes to sleep. We very seldom communicate unless it is something he is interested in, for instance Nascar Racing.

I am not married, but my boyfriend of 4 years does almost the exact same thing. He is so interested in sports and his other hobbies that when he gets free time he can't wait to get on his computer,etc. Always something that doesn't involve me. If there is a game on Saturday night and we are planning to go out to dinner, he HAS to go to a restaurant where there is a TV so he can watch the game. Of course this means he is too busy watching the TV to have dinner conversation. He also revolves his life around what TV program is gonna be on. It is totally ridiculous.

> He doesn't hardly ever talk to me. This makes me feel like he isn't interested or either bored.

I know that feeling, too. I think they don't think much of it, they just want to do what they want to do. They figure they have us, and we're not going anywhere, so why do they have to work anymore? Of course this is totally wrong, but that is my theory on what they must be thinking. I believe that they are afraid or don't know how to communicate with us for some reason. Or they don't feel the need to have to talk since they are "tough men" and keep all their feelings inside.
My dad is not that way, though.He is always interested in spending time with my mom. They have been married over 30 years, and they STILL go out every weekend to dinner, art shows, and up north.


> Third, we VERY RARELY have sex. This is July 31 and the last time we had sex was in May. I am 29 and he is 35. This also makes me wonder about him. When we do have sex it is for ONLY a short time.


Sounds familiar, but I also have quite a few friends that have the same problem with their husbands. I don't understand why men get like this, either. I always thought they wanted as much as they can get. I guess we need a man to explain this one!



> Can you help me PLEASE!!!!!!!


I don't know if I've been any help since I am in a similar situation, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! Have you tried talking to him about it? Or does he just say he is tired? Maybe counseling would help if you could get him to go. Or maybe you could take up something fun together like golf or whatever else you both like............. Best of luck to you!