I've been through very similar many times and it seems if I just keep on open mind and stay willing to face myself and my emotions, the answers will come.
Now that you're consciously willing to work through this, it may be that your subconscious is re-sorting through a lot of the emotions for you. Keep asking for understanding and stay willing to face whatever arises and when your conscious mind is ready, your subconscious will speak through dreams you remember.