a little longer response... sorry

Xyla,

I am having an incredible time expressing myself this week... You missed the point.
There is no right or wrong in this situation. There is only heated emotion, raw feelings, and disregard for
what is best.

You and your Ex both still love each other...
Love is great. It can make a relationship stronger, but
it cannot hold it together. It takes a lot more than that.

Neither one of you wants to hurt the other... you WILL however as long as you attempt to carry on like this.
It helped a lot in my situation that I didn't see my ex as much as you do. I also did not call her. I remained in contact with my daughter, but would only talk to my ex on the phone as much as politeness would allow.

She has a new man in her life. You have a new woman. You have both made attempts to move on with your lives. For the healing process, this is BEST. NO, it isn't easy.
If she is living with another man, then I doubt that she is planning on leaving him anytime soon. I DON'T CARE HOW OFTEN OR HOW HEART FELT IT SEEMS WHEN SHE SAYS, " I still love you and want to work this out." UNTIL he or she moves out, then it isn't going to happen. IF and WHEN it does happen, you need to give her some cooling off time, or you will find yourself in a triangle. DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR CHILD.


I hate to sound preachy... I hope this helps more.

BEST CASE SCENERIO:

If you really want to try to make this work. STOP dating other women. DEVOTE time and energy instead to your child. Give your ex the space she needs. DON'T pressure her. Let he find her own way. IF you don't you will never know for sure how she really feels. Just keep in mind that you CAN'T make someone love you. If it is there you will know by the way she conducts herself, the way she treats you, and more importantly how she treats your child. That includes the enviroment that she establishes in your daughters life.

A thought for you to ponder...
You tell your ex you love her.. she comes over... she then returns to another man... HOW DOES THAT LOOK TO YOUR CHILD?
WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU SENDING HER? everything you do, is setting the example for your daughter. She is learning, right now, how to interact with her future boyfriends/husband.


I am going to do something I don't normally do here...
This is my email addy. If you have MSN, you may add me and we can talk about this one on one. chrisman44@hotmail.com

Think about it... there is no right and wrong here, but there should be, "what is best for your child"

-thinker
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