Re: A big fat mess.

no worries, you live and learn. We all fall on bad times.

You're committed to making it better, and you will. A few more tips:
1) Let him know concrete measures you have taken on any given day to find work (eg. sent out X resumes, made X phonecalls.) Show him you're committed.
2) Be honest with him, admit what you admitted to us, you haven't been doing enough. He will appreciate your honesty. Pledge to change it by telling him #1
3) Also be honest with him and tell him you need him intimately. Ask him to give you a chance to please him, and be accountable. Make him feel needed. Say to him that you expect him to react badly if you don't follow through with your promises, but let it be known that him getting upset and withholding love only makes it harder for you to acheive your goals. Don't say it in an accusatory tone.
4) If all else fails, get him drunk and take advantage of him!

Benzy, (dirty young man)
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