A big fat mess.

Well, after posting a msg in the sex forum a while ago (and getting great responses) I am in a position that goes beyond that (no sex/bad sex). I was in denial about a lot of things, and breaking my husband's trust numerous times along the way. Not cheating on him (!), but freaking out emotionally, snooping through old files, not doing what we had talked about prior to getting married (job), financial irresponsibility, and basically not being the person he thought he was marrying. All of this has led to him not wanting to have sex, or actually any intimacy whatsoever. Pretty dismal dynamics, really. I want him to forgive and forget, and he just kind of can't until life changes and I walk the talk I guess. I need to turn off my emotional outbursts that, ironically, stem from not having a juicy and sweet love life. I am not wanted in that way and it kills me. Not a complaint, really, a realization. I need to suffer the consequences of my own actions, he is not playing head games, he is hurt and doesn't trust. Secretly my heart is breaking. That is all. Tweet