wow..i cant offer any advice to you.. i often feel the same way ... No matter how much i change or what i change the results remain the same in one way or fashion.. it's like beating your head against the wall constantly isnt it?? others will tell you oh well just stop doing that then?? or your lazy ...and dont want to change therefore you are not getting anywhere...but this is not true in my case and prolly not yours either... so i know what you mean... although i would like to make a suggestion maybe to try emotional freedom technique to unlock some of your negative traumas and emotions ...possibly helping you to move forward.. It has helped me to a certain degree. Sometimes we do things unconsciously constantly making wrong decisions even if we dont want to:(