this is from the same site, if you scroll down you see a bunch of links at the bottome that will take you to all kinds of great info about nde's and suicide.
i recently read the book "mans search for meaning" by viktor frankl. it sounds like a very deep philosophical treatment, but its not. its about a very famous pychologists' first hand experience as a prisoner in the nazi concentration camps. its an absolutely amazing book. he talks about suffering, the nature of suffering, why we go thru suffering, and how we can make the most of it. its a short book and easy to read, wel well worth the time and effort. you can find it on amazon used for next to nothing.
i will say a prayer for you and i hope that you find some help and some relief. keep seeking the truth.