Newly married and no expert on lovemaking. But I do know it should be a mutual thing of listening to each other and giving to each other in sharing for the two.It sounds like yor guy is incapable of that and it appears he has low impluse control and in the final analysis just plain selfish.I have some girlfriends who prefer it fast and hard too and some like you and me who prefer it slow.It all should be worked out in a shared mutual giving.My hubby is huge, huge and ony some of him fits deep in me and only with much lube and him going so slow. Thank God he does not thrust fast and hard and is so lovingly understanding.Besides I prefer it slow anyway. You raised a excellent issue thanks. Love.