godly help please

I am a christian woman who has been married for 13 years..I have to 2 children and I am 43 years old..My husband is also a christian. when we met we were both atheist..but i was searching. well we got married and everything was fine..Sex was good and happening quite often..when I became born again my husband remained atheist and he rediculed me because of beliefs..He has emotionally abused, and also physically abused me.(when he emotionally abused me I became defensive and would hit him, which intern he would hit me and kick me several times)This happened several times, but he had a messed up life with his controling father. His parents are divorced and his dad controls everything and everybody. Time went on and things got better. My husband eventually shared my belief. But he continues to emotionally abuse me . and right after 9/11(he was there) he became physically abusive..But that was 2 years ago.We fight alot..Sex stinks. He does not give me orgasms anymore and I feel funny when he touches me anywhere...
I am attracted to another man , because he is nice to me and I believe he cares about me..He is married also. I think about him alot, but would never jeopordize my marriage or his..To many people would get hurt..
My husband tries to please me..and we talk about our past and I tell him I am hurt, and only God can heal..he always puts the blame on what ever happend to me..I have no one to talk to but this guy friend whom I have known for years and Just recently I feel sexually attracted to..I want sex with my husband but I feel weird when he touches me..because it hasn't happend for along time. I would just allow him to get off and than go to sleep..I don't want to feel attracted to someone else. it is against my belief , but I can't help it. I pray that the lord would take these feelings away..