Well that sounds great....a perfect idea...to just chill out and see what pops up. Trying and trying to 'figure things out' sometimes just doesn't work does it! (O life!) That's funny that you're 25 going on 26 - kind of a nice coincidence...
And I'm soooo happy that a weight has been lifted once you stopped feeling like you, perhaps, had to live/help others. If you take care of your own happiness/heart/life first (in a healthy way, of course!) then the caring for others will just come naturally....but, definitely, YOU first!
Yes....what do YOU want! What do you reeeally want (we all really do want to feel at peace with ourselves and at peace with the World...)....and how will you get it? (or BE it?) Let your own feelings cook inside you and then see what bubbles up...