Another question: fear of death & drowning

Since the forum is still open I thought I’d take advantage and ask for your insight one more time. Hope it's ok; we really appreciate the knowledge you share with us on this forum!

I have been having thoughts lately that the tension surrounding my 3rd eye – tension and stress which does not allow me to relax and fills my mind with constant chatter- is somehow related to the issue of death, and specifically, death by drowning.

I have, from a young age, had recurrent dreams of the sea slowly creeping over my family’s summerhouse, a place where I have spent many carefree summers and come in touch with nature for the first time. The sea approaches the house slowly and menacingly, like a silent tsunami, rising to wash everything away. In later years I have come to associate the sea with consciousness and the dreams as an indication that some change is about to happen in me. In some dreams recently I have become less the passive observer, and more the active participant. I have pushed the waves back with the power of my mind, at the same time totally in awe of my powers to do so. And more recently I have felt the fear of the incoming waves leave me, as if I know that even if they cover me and I drown I shall not stop existing. It's like lately I feel the fear of surrendering to death leave me, but I am not quite there yet...

Do you think there is a possibility I experienced drowning in a past life? As a young child I was never afraid of the sea, but a few years later this suddenly reversed and I started associating the ocean with decay (especially after being "traumatised" by watching an old version of "Titanic" at age eight). For my teenage and later adult years I have had unknown anxieties every time I leave the shore for deeper waters.

The inability to let go is also why I have never been able to surrender during lovemaking, although much progress has been made lately. However, ever since my last liver flush a couple of weeks ago I feel the tension on my 3rd eye receding, but am afraid to let go and experience what changes in consciousness may come...

I feel I should mention that I also had a peak experience a few years back with a hallucinogen. This experience was a gift and is the reason I am healing myself today. The peak of the experience lasted only a day, but the aftermath and heightened awareness stayed with me for a couple of months. During that time I experienced the unknown before terror that I was losing my mind.

That fear, of losing my mind and drowning, is still here with me today. Do you think it is in any way karmic, and related to the dreams I have been having since childhood?

With love, always,

Louise



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