I have really been searching lately. I have been through so many emotions regarding the church from I don't ever want to go again to I need to go every Sunday...but always at the root of it all has been WHY??? I am not able to go to church because of the people because I know any one of them at any time may do damage to me and mine, either deliberately or not. I am not able to just say no and stay home either, I can't rest with that. So, my struggles have been huge for me and each day I go before the Lord knowing that only He can help me get right and do what is right and only He can cause me to forgive and only He can cause me to move on.
He has used Psalm 100 about entering His gates and entering His courts...it is about thanksgiving and praise. So, I choose to give thanks to Him, counting my blessings which are huge! And I am praising His name. I will take myself to church which is such a sweet place to hear praise music and take time to be in fellowship with Him. I will do this because I know it pleases Him. And I can be sure that He will use my obedience to His glory if He chooses. It is here that I leave the whole thing now. I rest on the Rock of my salvation! What a blessing to be able to because it is a grace thing not a me thing. God did that for me! And you as you follow Jesus!