Re: hanging on by one fingernail

My Depression stemmed solely from external factors. I had lost EVERYTHING that I ever cared about. I felt punished (I cursed God many times!), lonely and unloved.
I was wondering what is wrong with me? I lost everything I had loved and in many instances I realized I had never had it in the first place. I thought I would not, no, I COULD NOT ever get better. When it dawned on me that killing myself would not really improve my situation, but only give me a temporary break from it, I looked for "loopholes". How could I do myself in without really doing it myself? So I went for a walk at night by myself, drove like a crazy person, etc.
It turns out that everything can be overcome and that you do not have to fight desperately. I realize now what a great gift I have been given, what GRACE. I will never be the same! All of my years of suffering have paid off beyond measure. I have reached understanding and realization of the meaning of life beyond what I had ever thought possible. And no, suffering is not the meaning of life. I am not a masochist. The meaning of life is GROWTH. And suffering can propel you forward tremendously.
I had the same problem you have, what kind of God is this who will allow such heartbreak? All loving and merciful? Excuse me?
But I realized that God's mercy and love does not come from not allowing any pain, but actually from allowing it. I know this is hard to understand. But you as a mother know that you sometimes have to make your children do things they do not want to do, things they dislike greatly. You know: Later on you will thank me for it! So this is the same thing here, just on a much greater scale and sometimes it looks very terrible.
But so it is, I thank my higher power for my suffering and I now call it grace. I am a better person for it. I was purified and strengthened in fire. Like precious metal, I have taken on shape and my beauty is now for all to see. Most importantly though, I can see it myself now.

You have to be prepared for great blessings and grace when this phase of your life is over!

P.S. I would HIGHLY recommend Andreas' book "Freedom from Judgement" (you can buy it through his website). Tweet