I was hoping someone would benefit from this info and see its value. Its a very difficult thing to live as an addict to any substance. You can't "will" yourself out of it, you need help. At least I did. Besides Flower and emtional essences, one might also try Reiki energy healing. It can remove layers of depression, anger, hatered etc... It will make you see clearly again. That's something you can find in your town or online, just look for "reiki master". Some are as chea as 5$-20$ a sesion, some are very expensive, so shop around.