Gerry...My experience.

I don't know if this will help you or anyone else, but it is what helped me.

... //www.curezone.org/forums/m.asp?f=601&i=216

I've been through some stuff over the years, and done my share of whining out loud, etc. Telling it to anyone, except my dear husband, did absolutely no good. I'm not even sure telling my husband did much good, since he is such an up-front, unbiased, and mentally healthy person. "That was then, and this is now."

The word 'forgiveness' has often tripped me up, with the idea of 'you can continue doing it'.

I used to sometimes see the face of one of the perpetrators in my sleep, and wake up gasping, with an ache in my bronchial area from trying desperately to explain that I am, and always was, a nice person. I didn't need 'discipline'.

The very last time that happened (thirty and more years ago) was just before my son was born.

One life experience trumped another, I think.

At the time I learned to hug myself, I also did the thing with putting the person's name in a chair, and saying out loud what I would say if they were really there.

The book I got this from said NOT to do it without a professional to guide how long, and how emotional, the exercise should go.

Since I was very alone and very poor, I did it anyway. Luckily I was able to keep it to about 15 minutes, and I got tired of it, anyway. :D

That name-in-the-chair thingy lasted until this very day...through holding his hand near the end, and his death. He was just an old man ending his life. The past, and his errors, no longer mattered to me.

It was good that I hadn't needed to see him all those years. I think I would have had to separate myself from his company if I had to live near him.

We all always do the best we can. Not necessarily the best we've ever heard of, but the best we can at that given moment. Whatever we do, we do it because it seems like a good idea at that moment. (The thief may have heard that 'Thou shalt not steal', but at the moment he steals a car, he does it because all he has learned to this point makes him think it is a good idea.)

I think the greatest harms done to young people aren't the acts of abuse, but the ommissions of good and healthy examples of happy living. We have to learn good relationships by seeing them. Otherwise we are liable to repeat the errors.

The second greatest harm comes, I think, from getting stuck on the same old, same old...forever talking about it to friends, or anyone else who will listen; until they finally turn away because they can't reach you with new experiences and happiness.

The third greatest harm, I think, is the unconscious/subconscious body language, reactions, attitudes, feelings, and actions we pack around forever, until we consciously change them.

For example, I have been practicing the Alexander Techniques for a couple of years, on my own, because I noticed I have a rounded area at the top of my spine. The other day my husband said that he likes the way I am straightening up. He said that I always used to go around with my head down.

Guess where I got that from!

A kinesiologist once said that if Trouble once came at us from a particular direction, it is possible that we might never look in that direction again.

I've been passing liver/gall stones spontaneously, due to really big salads with the right dressings, I think.

Interestingly, old memories and embarrassments pass with them. Not all at once, thank Heaven. But one by one, old issues resolve themselves...sometimes in dreams.

I've learned that they will be answered, and I know not to over-imagine them, at last. It's a great relief, I promise.

At one time, I thought my life was over. I believed that my life had been spoiled/ruined/wasted by circumstances beyond my control, and that I had lost my chance to do better.

Wrong! Baloney! Fiddlesticks!

Since then I've learned that there is no such thing as age. There are only people, some at one stage of development of their own lives, some at other stages.

I've also learned that, if I should live to be 1,000, I couldn't even scratch all the possibilities!

I also think that all our unhappinesses melt at the end. That we pass into contentment. That it's all okay.

One last thought I've been studying. There is stuff in our food, etc., that messes us up.

Consult with a kinesiologist, or learn to test with a pendulum. Eliminate foods and other products that don't give you glowing good health. Better still, search for things that do! (It's always better to accentuate the positive, I think. :D )

My best,

fledgling



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