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Dear Fledgling,
Thank you for your post. All you describe could have happened at my house.
You raise some very interesting questions and I would like to anwer them in two parts. This part for the social pressure problem and another part for addiction in another post later.
Yes it is VERY difficult to overcome social pressure when it comes to food. Food is the number one thing we are supposed to share to prove we belong to a family, a church etc. By partaking of the flesh and blood of Christ we belong to a Church. We separate between kosher eating and hallal eating people. Etc.
When with friends or family we rejoice in the communion of eating the same food. I remember my father inviting me every year to a nice restaurant for my birthday, treating me to beautiful special food and wine, and he would order on the menu the same things I did, so that our minds and hearts would communicate better. He never said why he did this, but obviously that was the intent, as there were lots of tempting items on the menu and every time he woud do this.
You are a traitor if you refuse the food that your friends eat. And they rightfully hate you for this. We tend to try to avoid that at all costs!!!

At all costs? This is the question.
In the end, when you are sick enough, the cost comes into serious consideration.
I am old enough - not too much though!!:) :) - to start seeing my friends and family members die off. They are taken away by disease and death and this is horrible to watch. It leaves you alone. And worse. A traitor because I had said and said and said over and over again : Please do not eat/drink this!! This is pure poison!
I nursed my bedridden mother (died from colon cancer at the age of only 75 which where I live is young for a woman to die) for the last two months of her life. It was very hard caring for her. We never discussed the fact that I had warned her many times about her eating habits (replace this with addictions). In the end (LAST 15 DAYS OF HER LIFE!!!!!!) she would not eat or drink bad stuff. But she didn't eat or drink anything anymore at that point. Never once did our eyes meet. She was full of rage and refused death till the end. She hated me for being a witness to it and for my being right all along about her food.
Of course from the day she had been diagnosed I had never even once raised the subject of her eating habits.
I felt a lot of love for her but she left me feeling like a bad daughter, who had survived her by eating differently. Such a bad daughter in fact, that she would have preferred to see me die in her place.

After that, I was in a strange void. I think I experienced rejection for my dietary choices at its worst!!
After that I didn't mind anymore telling friends or family I was not going to eat their food. I tell them I am sick with a rare genetical disease (they can't imagine they are going to catch it from me) and I cannot eat their food. I end up cooking a lot and all parties are happening at my place.

I suspect that other people, the 'normal' people who can eat anything without being sick, are not feeling as well as they say. Suddenly around me all my friends start to develop conditions that seriously restrict their life or their pleasure to be alive.
I realize that my symptoms, which I found unbearable because they excluded me from their lives, from the life I had led as a healthy person, are nothing compared to what they suffer. Now they are sick, they are not so eager to exclude me anymore!
At this stage you could say I have come out of the closet.

So as not to antagonize anyone, I do make my views known discreetly and serve healthy food at my house BUT I have also solved the problem of their addiction by providing the drug at several stages of the meal :
- some Mono-Sodium-Glutamat (Natrium Glutamat) seasoned appetizers (ha! ha! - well named!) at the start alongside the ones I cooked myself
- a couple of sauces they can add to my delicious handmade food (not going into MY plate!)
- some poisoned chocolates with coffee at the end.
All this is really cheap to buy and doesn't take any effort to find.
I warn discreetly newcomers about the difference.
In that way part of the guests can eat properly and the others can feel comfortable knowing that their choice of staying addicted is respected.

I understand that if you are a senior, maybe more than me, you don't want to rock the boat. You heart must bleed for younger people who are poisoning themselves to death. Also being a senior sometimes it is difficult to express your views as they may be taken as advice nobody wants to hear, which leads to nobody wants to be near you in case you wanted to speak your mind!

That being said, there is much more to the social pressure issue, which is linked in my opinion to the addiction issue. But I have no more time to write!! Cooking time!
Lots of good wishes!
Kalliopi