Hi, I have type II bipolar disorder. I totally understand how you feel. I started having symptoms when I was 11. It started as depression. I had my first manic episode when I was 16. By 19 I was out of control and decided to get help. most of my experience is with severe depression, ironically I'm super sensetive to anti depressants. My mania, along with yours, is very hard to control. Right now I'm on 500mg of Lamictal. It was a godsend! but you have to increase the dose very slowly. About 25mg per week. And usually around 300mg is when you start to notice a difference. I also had to start on an anti-psychotic. 160mg of Geodon. It was also a godsend. It controlled everything that the lamictal didnt control. It also treats my depression. I had no Depression last winter when it's usually the worst time of the year for me. There's a brand new mood stabilizer out there. Its called Abilify. Its only been on the market for 1-2 years. I was on that for a while but had to stop because of undesirable side affects. It did work well, though. If you have any more questions or just want to talk, send me a message.
PS taking antidepressants without a mood stabilizer can cause more severe and more frequent manic episodes. Not a good idea.