Leftover anxiety from Chronic Pain condition

I am so very gratefull to be over the chronic pain -Fibromyalgia - but the years and years of it have left me with an anxiety condition. Its mostly about people, not 'outdoors' , like agorophobia.

There was a lot of negative re-inforcement socially with chronic pain. People see you with a grimace on your face, and they act diferently. Some get hostile, some feel an anxiety of their own... People don't like to look at pain.

I was allways pretty shy. Those pain years didn't help

It was a challenge physically to go outside.
Mentally too - I remember hoping that I would not meet people I knew when the pain was really bad, and also I hoped on these trips for food that I would avoid everyone.
I would smile at the cashier, but even thatwas fake and they knew it and got huffy or whatever.

Now I am still left with that problem, I don't know why its so bad. Its not like I have to hide my pain...

When people come to my house, I can't tolerate them for more than a few hours, then I get really anxious. All I can think about it when will they leave?
Same with going to other people's places, I plan to leave ASAP.

I tried to visit my Mom, but I had to stay at my brother's house, and he makes me more nervous than anyone.
I tried to tell them I would not handle it, and if I didn't get a motel to be alone in I would have to go home. They don't believe me really, they just see me as whining. So I went home - after driving 1000km I only got to see her one day.

This summer my son came to live with me, and I could hanlde that. he is a great guy, and he has his own room and area on the first level. Then he brought two friends out... oh my I went bad fast. I have been huddling up here hoping they would ALL go away. Tomorrow they go back to university and I can start to recover.

I just do not get better until I have been alone for several days.




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