A Listening Heart

Master Lu-Tsu said:

A story...

The ancient Zen Master, Dogo, had a disciple called Soshin. When Soshin became a novice under Dogo, he doubtless expected that the Master would instruct him in Zen the way a schoolmaster instructs his pupils. But Dogo said nothing special to him, and, indeed, appeared to have no intention of conveying anything unusual to the disciple. Finally Soshin could stand it no longer and reproached his Master for not having shown him anything of Zen. 'But I have been giving you lessons in Zen ever since you arrived,' said Dogo.

'Oh?' said Soshin, 'When could that possibly have been?'

'When you bring me my morning tea,' said Dogo, 'I accept it. When you serve me a meal, I eat it. When you bow to me, I acknowledge it. How else do you expect to learn Zen?'

Tao can be shared but cannot be divided. Tao can be shown but cannot be said. The Master lives in Tao. The disciple has to imbibe the spirit of it.

It is not a teaching, it cannot be a teaching - all teachings are superficial. It has to be deeper than a teaching. It has to be an energy transfer. It has to be heart to heart, soul to soul, body to body. It cannot be verbal. And the disciple has to see, watch, observe, feel, love the energy that is manifesting in the Master. Slowly slowly, by and by, just sitting by the side of the Master, the disciple learns many secrets, although they are never taught.

One of the greatest secrets is that sitting by the Master's side, the disciple starts breathing in the same way the Master breathes. There arises a synchronicity. And in that synchronicity the two meet. It happens to lovers too. If you are in deep love with someone, sitting side by side, sitting together with your beloved, if you observe, you will be surprised that suddenly, for no reason at all, not cultivated by you, you are breathing in the same way. When the beloved exhales, you exhale.

When the beloved inhales, you inhale. And suddenly you are connected, linked together.

Breath is of immense importance. That's how the mother is connected with the child. And sometimes the distance may even be of a thousand miles between the child and the mother but the mother's heart is immediately affected if the child is in danger. Their breathing is so connected - they breathe alike. And there is an obvious reason for it. The child in the mother's womb was breathing through the mother for nine months. He had no breath of his own. It was his mother's breath, and he was simply following the mother's breathing. The mother was breathing for him, on his behalf; for nine months they lived in a deep synchronicity. Even after the child is born, it continues. If there is real love, it can continue for the whole of their lives.

Now there have been scientific proofs for it, too. In America, in Russia, and in other countries also, many experiments have been done lately with birds, with animals. The child is taken far away and then killed, and they watch the mother with all the sophisticated instruments available. The moment the child is killed - it may be a thousand miles away - immediately the mother's breath changes.

Immediately, in the exact moment, her breath becomes shaken; a trembling arises in her. She feels panic, pain, for no reason, for no apparent reason. Something intuitive, something without any medium between the two - they are not visibly connected by anything, but there are some invisible threads, too.

The disciple has to learn not what the Master is teaching but HOW THE MASTER IS BEING. That's what Dogo means when he says, 'But I have been giving you lessons in Zen ever since you arrived. When you bring me my morning tea, I accept it. Have you not watched it - the way I accept it? Have you not fallen in deep harmony with me when I accept the tea from you? When you serve me a meal, I eat it. When you bow to me, I acknowledge it. How else do you expect to learn Zen?'

The Master is saying: Watch my gestures - the way I walk, the way I sit, the way I breathe, the way I simply sit with you, the way I look at you, the way I respond in a thousand and one small ways.

Don't wait for a doctrine; the Master's presence is the only doctrine there is. The real teaching is not a teaching at all, it is a transfer - a transfer beyond words and beyond scriptures. And the transfer happens through the harmony of the breath.

I would also like to say to you that I have also nothing to offer to you as a teaching, as a doctrine, as a philosophy, as a religion. I have nothing to teach at all. I have much to share, but nothing to teach - or, ONLY NOTHING to teach! But to feel that nothing that I would like to be transferred to you, you will have to fall in rhythm with me. And small things disturb, very small things. And you have to become aware slowly slowly what the disturbances are.

In evening DARSHAN sometimes I call a few sannyasins to help me transfer energy to somebody. I have been calling Pradeepa many times, but each time I call her afterwards I feel nauseous. I was puzzled. What is happening? She is such a beautiful woman, with great love for me; that's why I call her to help me. But it has been happening each time. Just the last time I felt it so much that I had to look into it, into the whole matter of it. Then I saw the point. She must be eating non-vegetarian food - meat, eggs and other things. That is making her breath ugly, that is making her whole inner harmony disturbed. That's why she cannot fall in tune with me. And if she cannot fall in tune, it creates a disturbance. She loves me, but her love is still unconscious. If she becomes a little more conscious, she will see it, she will see that to be with me you will have to change many things in you.

To be with me, and to move deeper with me, to have a heart-to-heart contact, you will have to drop the unnecessary luggage that you carry. Now, there is no need to be a non-vegetarian - it is not for a meditator; otherwise, you are creating unnecessary hindrances. It will disturb your softness - it will create a kind of cruelty in you. You may not be aware of it, because you are not aware at all, but when you come to me I am just a mirror.

Now Pradeepa must be creating a great nauseousness in her own being. She may have become accustomed to it, so she is not aware. But again and again I was feeling nauseous, because when you relate to me with energy it is not one-way: my energy moves into you, your energy moves into me. It can't be one-way. A circle is created; circulation starts happening. This is just an example.

And this is not only for Pradeepa, it is for you all.

If you want to be more and more deeply in tune with me, if you want to share the Tao that has happened to me, you will have to be more conscious, more alert to what you are doing, what you are eating, what you are reading, what you are listening to, where you are going, with whom you are mixing. It has to be a total effort. It has to be a twenty-four-hour awareness, because small things gather together and their impact is great.

If you have been angry with somebody and you have been fighting with somebody and then you come to see me, naturally you will be far away from me. That's why Jesus says if you go to the temple to pray and you remember that you have hurt somebody, insulted somebody, that you are angry at somebody or if you have angered somebody, first go and ask to be forgiven, only then come to pray; otherwise, you will not be able to relate with God. First go and apologize. First clear things.

It happened when Michelangelo was working in the Sistine Chapel... He was making a painting of Jesus. The painting was almost complete - just the last finishing touches - but he was finding those last finishing touches very difficult. Jesus was not coming out Jesus-like; something was missing in Jesus' face - that softness, that feminineness was not there, that love quality was not there. He tried and tried for days, and then he remembered that he had quarrelled with a friend and he was carrying it in himself. And then he remembered the saying of Jesus, that if you go to pray and you are not feeling good about a friend or a brother, then first go and ask forgiveness.

He rushed out of the chapel, went to the friend, asked his forgiveness and told the whole story. 'For days together I have been working, but I cannot bring out Jesus' face as it should be. Something angry remains in it' - because something was angry inside him. If there is anger and hard feeling and you are going to paint, your hands will paint, your painting will represent you, your painting will basically reflect you. And the day he asked forgiveness and was forgiven, he came into a totally different mood. And just a few minutes' work, and the painting was complete. And it is one of the most beautiful paintings of Jesus. Just a few strokes and the painting came alive and Jesus surfaced, because now Michelangelo's heart was in tune.

Tao can be shared. But then you have to learn the ways of sharing it with the Master, and you have to be very watchful about many things. It is simple in a way and yet very complex, too. Simple, because if you are really open and in harmony, it can happen in a single split moment. Complex, because you will have to change your very small habits of which you are not aware at all. You will have to change your total life.

That's why I say I have nothing to offer to you as a teaching, I have some energy to impart to you as a provocation. I am not giving you a system of philosophy, a theology, I am giving you myself. It is a challenge. My effort here is to wake you up. You will have to be open, rhythmic, and you will have to watch small things in your life. And the breath is the most important. You will have to learn how to breathe in SATSANG how to breathe in the company of a Master, how to breathe when you are in love.

The breathing continuously changes with your emotions. When you are angry, your breathing is unrhythmic, asymmetrical. When you are in sexual lust, your breathing is almost insane. When you are calm and quiet, joyful, your breathing has a musical quality to it; your breathing is almost a song. When you are feeling at home in existence, when you have no desires and are feeling contented, suddenly breathing almost stops. When you are in a state of awe, of wonder, breathing stops for a moment. And those are the greatest moments of life, because only in those moments when breathing almost stops are you in utter tune with existence: you are in God and God is in you.

Your experience of breathing has to be more and more profound, scrutinized, observed, watched, analyzed. See how your breathing changes with your emotions, and vice versa, how your emotions change with your breathing. For example, when you are afraid, watch the change in your breath. And then one day try to change the breath to the same pattern as when you were afraid. And you will be surprised that if you change your breath to exactly what it was when you were afraid, fear will arise in you - immediately. Watch your breathing when you are deeply in love with somebody; holding his hand, hugging your beloved, watch your breathing. And then, one day, just sitting silently under a tree, watch yourself again breathing in the same way. Make the pattern, fall into the same gestalt again. Breathe in the same way as if you were hugging your beloved, and you will be surprised; the whole existence becomes your beloved. Again there is great love arising ill you. They go together.

Hence in Yoga, in Tantra, in Tao - in all these three great systems and sciences of human consciousness and the expansion of human consciousness - breathing is one of the key phenomena. They have all worked on breathing.

Buddha's whole meditation system depends on a certain quality of breath. He says, 'Simply watch your breath, without changing it. Without in any way changing it, simply watch.' But you will be surprised: the moment you watch, it changes: you cannot help it. Buddha says, 'Don't change your breath, simply watch.' But the moment you watch, it changes, because watchfulness has its own rhythm. That's why Buddha says, 'You need not change it; simply watch.' Watchfulness will bring its own kind of breathing - it comes by itself. And slowly slowly you will be surprised: the more watchful you become, the less you breathe. The breath becomes longer, deeper.

For example, if in one minute you were breathing sixteen breaths, now you may breathe six, or four, or three. As you become watchful, the breath goes deeper, becomes longer, and you are taking less and Less breaths in the same time period. Then you can do it from the other side too. Breathe slowly, quietly, deep long breaths, and suddenly you will see watchfulness arising in you. It is as if each emotion has a polarity. In your breathing system: it can be triggered by your breathing.

But the best way is to watch when you are in love, when you are sitting by the side of your friend. Watch your breath, because that loving rhythm of breath is most important: it will transform your whole being. Love is where you feel most sharply the absurdity, the falsity, of your position as a separated being.

Yet by this very separation, this absurdity, you are able to express what you could not express in any other way. By your very otherness you are able to celebrate identity. Hence, the paradox of love; you are two and yet you feel one. You are one, yet you know you are two. Oneness in twoness: that is the paradox of love. And that has to be the paradox of prayer too, and meditation too. Ultimately you have to feel as one with existence as you feel with your beloved, with your lover, with your friend, with your mother, with your child, in some rare valuable moments. By your very otherness you are able to celebrate identity.

The Vedas say: TATHVAMASI I am that. This is the greatest statement of love: I am that, or, Thou art that. There is a clear-cut awareness of separation, and yet a deep unity too. The wave is separate from the ocean and yet not separate from the ocean.

Watch your loving moments more and more. Be alert. See how your breathing changes. See how your body vibrates. Just hugging your woman or your man, make it an experiment, and you will be surprised. One day, just hugging, melting into each other, sit at least for one hour, and you will be surprised: it will be one of the most psychedelic experiences. For one hour, doing nothing, just hugging each other, falling into each other, merging, melting into each other, slowly slowly the breathing will become one. You will breathe as if you are two bodies but one heart. You will breathe together. And when you breathe together - not by any effort of your own, but just because you are feeling so much love that the breathing follows - those will be the greatest moments, the most precious; not of this world, but of the beyond, the far out.

And in those moments you will have the first glimpse of meditative energy. In those moments grammar gives up, language expires. In the attempt to say it, language expires, and by its very death does point at last to what it cannot say. And that has to be, on a profounder level, the relationship with the Master. Then only can Tao jump as a flame from the Master to the disciple. You will have to learn the art of breathing.

 

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