The Last Eight Days and the Future

Here is what happened with my fasting buddy. We had a miscommunication. I waited two days for her reply, didn't see her reply, and gave up. She was actually the only reason I was fasting, so when I gave up, I started eating. I learned from this experience to have more faith, hope, and trust, and to not give up as easily, because she replied in two days, the records show. I didn't check until today, six days after she replied. I thought that maybe she ate so she didn't want to reply to me. That's probably what I would've done, haha. If I didn't message my fasting buddy, I probably ate. I should've thought of the best in people, not the worst. Turns out she was still fasting when she messaged me. Ever since I broke my fast, have been eating every day.

I wonder what could motivate me to fast again. I have a therapist appointment today. If anything, I will tell my therapist I want to get motivation for fasting. We always talk about random stuff and change the subject like thirty times in one session. I want it to be focused on one topic and stay there. I think I will take the early bus to the hospital even though my appointment is in the afternoon, just to avoid eating. Just a precautionary procedure. And then take the latest bus home, that is, if my butt don't get sore from sitting so long. Guess I could stand if my butt hurts. I want to work out a Plan A, B, C, D, E, F, G with her. I want a different plan for every day that I don't see her. She did say that she didn't have experience dealing with fasting, but this is not about fasting, it's more about motivational psychology and cognitive behavioral strategies. I am going to tell her that. So I will bring a book to read and some notecards to take notes for the plans.

Guess I will take the 7 A.M. bus. Three hours to kill. I plan to brush teeth and then stand and read. If something goes wrong with reading or standing, I will read PsyBlog on my bed or listen to a guided meditation on YouTube.

I know what you might be thinking--I am posting here when I haven't even gotten past Day 1! Well, I am experimenting, and let's not look at the failures, like the lesson my last fasting buddy gave me. I will try as many times as Thomas Edison did with the lightbulb. I hope this will be a new beginning for me. I hope for the best.