Indeed, it's probably the way you saw your mom treated as well, so it very much influenced what you thought of as part of the 'love' in a serious relationship.
All and all, a challenge to be able to be in a non-abusive relationship. Where would you have learned how, even? To say nothing of what it did to your self esteem, and belief about what you deserve, treatment-wise.
Try looking in the prophesy forum, under my spiritual healing thread. I think it's easier to find in that forum. It's usually the first group of posts. I've titled that post 'A good counselor--not an oxymoron...' about 3/4th of the way down in the thread. I'd rather not rewrite the whole post. :) And it's a bit long to cut and paste.