Heartbroken and scared

I think I am a stupid a$$. I'm in my fifties, female, I am a very kind and giving person. That is not a compliment to myself. I believe it can be a detriment to oneself. My first husband I married at 25 because I felt sorry for him. His father strangled his mother to death and then hanged himself when my ex was 18. He went on from there and took care of himself and his 16-yr-old brother, who ended up being a selfish, spoiled brat. (For the sake of brevity, I must leave out so very many details) He never treated me well, but I put up with it because I figured since he knew what life was about since he'd been through so much. He treated my like garbage and I put up with it. Fast forward -- one 23-yr-old daughter and 21-yr-old severely disabled son later, I have been remarried for nearly 10 years now. I am on the verge of placing my son in a group home because I have devoted my life to him and am unable to physically take care of him anymore. My current husband is 51 and acts like a teenager. I initially found it refreshing, fun. He latched on to me and I to him. He was nice to me, which I was not used to. I married him six months after meeting him. (Again, leaving out lots of details to make things as brief as possible) I now realize that it is close to impossible to make a second marriage work when there are kids involved, even though they are adults. I took care of his kids, one autistic and one severely mentally ill, and put up with things the likes of which you would probably flog me for. Looking back now, I can't believe I put up with what I did. The time, the tears, the money I spent on all of these people. Now I realize at my age that it was all for nothing. All I ever wanted was family -- close family. It never mattered about the DNA. All I do now is cry. I don't know what to do, where to turn. We all love our children, but he is beyond comprehension. You would not believe the disregard and disrespect he allows towards himself and me. I could have loved his children and made them all a part of our family, but no matter how badly his children treated me and their father (and trust me, it was bad), he always took their side, always, without exception. And now I don't care anymore. I don't feel the same way about him anymore. I love people, I love the world, but I don't understand why human beings can be so horrible to each other. I am heartbroken and am trying to figure out what to do, meaning what the F&*$ do you do at 53? Anyone who is thinking of remarrying, thing really, really hard. Anyway, this was a vent and thank you anyone who listened. Tweet