You need to remind yourself that you are not that little girl. If you can look at the situation without emotional attachment, you will see an innocent little girl who was a victim of a very bent and tortured man. He was in a living hell and he dragged you into it, you need to forgive yourself. This situation was far beyond your control. Our minds are amazing, meditation gives me clarity and strength. Finding space between the thoughts is a way to help not become over whelmed by the constant chatter in our brain. Most of which is useless dribble any way. You need to truely love yourself you are blessed. True happiness is already there inside you, just go look, nurture it love yourself, you're a good person. Just gotta remind yourself.