I am so sorry you've gone backwards in improvement. I know you must be really upset if are where you were 19 years ago. That must be very frustrating.
Do you think that the same regime you were on in the past will bring you back up to speed again?
It's great to know that you had 4-5 years of better health. I've been ill with AF for exactly four years. To know that you were able to achieve better health already once before... that knowledge must be empowering.
You asked if any of us could share some coping skills... I'd like to learn a few myself! I think it's important to remember that mental anguish at this point is normal, and that it's exacerbated by AF. It's not innate to you and who you are, and it will ease up as your physical symptoms improve. I'm sorry I don't have something more encouraging to write. I hope you are doing well today.