I'm sorry that you went through this. That said, it sounds like you never got any counseling, am I right? If so, please take the next step and call the RAINN Hotline at: 1-800-656-HOPE. In addition, take a look at their website:
When you call the hotline, the person on the other end of the line can help you find counseling. Also, discuss the possibility of pressing charges against your ex-boyfriend. If he did this to you, he will do it to other women if he isn't stopped.
Best of luck to you. Please take that first step toward healing and call the hotline.