Re: Going Through abuse again.

Hello,

I have some different advice to share with you. Please don't be offended if it comes across the wrong way.

I feel that you need to first of all release all judgment you unconsciously may hold against homosexuality. And secondly I feel that you need to come to peace with the fact that your experiences may have opened to door to a part of your sexuality that you didn't know was there. Just as there is the inner "child" in psychological terms, you may also say there is an inner homosexual within every man. There was some study i recall reading, where the men who responded the most to homosexual p 0 r n were also the most "macho" anti-homosexual type. And so perhaps this tendency is deeply buried in the male sexuality and is a natural feature of it.

I believe from you sharing your experiences that you may have scars from female interactions. How has the relationship with your mother been? When you were rejected by that girl, you felt suicidal... so it is deep and has to do with your self worth. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are homosexual because of your past experiences with your friend... it sounds more like you found friendship, and sexuality was presented somewhat against your will. Not because you are anti-gay, but because perhaps you really on the inside desired a male-female experience and were uncomfortable with the situation challenging your heterosexuality.

So i have a thought you may consider. There are many women out there who really get off watching or interacting with two men who are gay or bi or bi curious. You can explore this area by talking with tracy and finding out if she would be interested in that. Or you can find a woman who enjoys this to share it with.

I think the issue with your doctor is a simple matter of deciding for yourself if the reason you are allowing it is because a part of you desires the experience. It really is not difficult to tell someone to stop or to stop seeing someone. Unless your issue is holding boundaries, in which case you need to start speaking your mind In the moment! And get better and better at it.

Best wishes Tweet