Re: Letting go destructive communications

You're welcome.

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I get a bit freaked out around people who intensely "accuse first, ask questions later", and once upon a time had many family members with that style. ----- Oh, yes! I can relate to that --- my mother was that way.

Yes, you could try to follow through with a forgiving attitude. However, may I suggest another option?

From what you wrote, she has a pattern of responding the same way in similar situations. You point out---and rightfully so---that you no longer want to get sucked into her dramas, especially when you explained that you set a boundary with her in the past. It certainly appears that she is not respecting your boundaries. So---here is what I suggest---I suggest ending the friendship---not only for her behavior towards you but also because you have changed and grown while she remains the same. Also, it sounds like she is an emotional vampire. I've encountered such people in the past and know quite well that it wears on you.

Walking away from this friendship is not a cold or uncaring response. It's not expecting people to never have problems or go through rough spots. You definitely have shown that you are willing to be there for her when she needed you but you were also assertive enough to let her know your boundaries. Upset as she is, she has no right to viciously attack you and not respect your boundaries the way she did and still expect you to continue to be her friend.

That's my suggestion. Of course, it's up to you to do what you think is best for you and your own well being.

Best wishes to you! Tweet