Oh, brother....

Finding the "right person" is a wonderful happenstance, McCain, but the Original Poster did not mention (or even hint) that she had endured abuse, alcoholism/substance abuse, gambling addiction, p 0 r n addiction, or any other damned good reason for ending a contract of marriage.  She clearly stated that she had "fallen out of love with" her husband.  This could be due to many reasons, and discovering why she chose him in the first place, then produced offspring with him, and then involved herself in a sticky situation (no pun intended) is part of the learning and growing process. 

The reality is that divorce is a very expensive exercise in which NOBODY wins, except the attorneys - even in cases where severing the contract of marriage is justified, as in cases of domestic violence and abuse, sociopathy, illegal activities, etc., divorce dissolves all parties into human rubble, especially children who have no voice, whatsoever.  If the Original Poster feels that her husband is having affairs and is justifying her choices on that, alone, then it's a totally dysfunctional environment for everyone, especially their daughter.  Are you really suggesting that the Original Poster's daughter is having her needs met while her mother (and, possibly, her father) is putting forth all of this wasted emotion and energy into something that isn't even involved in her family?  Wouldn't it be the same deprivation if the mother were a work-aholic and devoting every waking hour to over-achieving? 

"Inferences" are what you want them to be, McCain, and if you ever paid any attention to any of my posts, blog entries, or responses to hurting, desperate people (as well as references to my own personal experiences), you would know better than to assume that I would advocate for anyone to remain in a dangerous, unhealthy relationship.  Go back and really READ my response.  Then, put your ego aside and think about what the Original Poster disclosed - no aspect of the affair makes sense, simply because she was lured, used, and discarded by someone who zeroed in on her boredome and vulnerabililty.  Filling herself with her Self is the first step towards self-fulfillment, McCain - if she's busy, she won't have time to be bored with her marriage and she'll have a new-found empowerment that can be thrilling enough to be considered sexually liberating.  It's UBER-sexy to be empowered, McCain, and it's ULTRA-demeaning to chase after someone (man OR woman) who has used and discarded us - plain and simple.

As for the Original Poster, this is going to have to be HER decision, based upon whatever she places importance upon.  That is precisely why I urged that the Orignal Poster seek individual or marital counseling - she needs to sort it out for herself so that she makes healthy choices and decisions for her daughter, and herself.  Who knows how many people the "other man" has been with?  In this day and age, once it was clear that this was an intermittent thing for him, I would get myself tested for every STD, ASAP - for him to seduce a vulnerable married woman for short-termed excitement was entierly self-gratifying on his part, and she needs to see the whole forest and not just her own personal tree.  The truth of the matter is that he lured her in, she took the bait, and then he dumped her because she didn't meet his criteria - oh, she was good enough to use on a physical basis, but not "good enough" to wait for.  And, now he's got her believing that he still cares about her because they are still "friends" and he hugs and kisses her.  What kind of predator is he, anyway?  "Go away, because I want to find someone to marry and have children with.  But, if you're game, we can still be friends with benefits."  Oh, brother......

Brightest blessings, once again.