Some basics (benzo & otherwise) - Re: Someone said post here maybe you guys can help?

jboy,

I understand that what you're experiencing is confusing, harsh, brutal and likely even more scary than you're saying.  I also understand how it seems there's no possible way everything you're experiencing could be benzo-related.  Maybe everything isn't, but until you have a bit more time to understand the physical actions of how a benzo works in the body then you won't be able to really "know".

I'm going to answer some of the questions you've asked in this thread, then I'm going to try to paint you a 'benzo picture' that will help you understand the physical actions of how benzos 'do their thing' at the end of the post.

--Our organs & body can be compromised without ingesting benzos (or any other drug).  I don't want you to think I'm some kind of a 'benzo freak-nutcase'.  I just happen to seriously 'know my stuff' when it comes to benzos & other psych drugs.

--Lecithin is an isolated substance - it's not natural and has the potential of causing harsh allergic responses.  I don't think there is a "good kind". 

--As far as any tests you've had since you've started taking Xanax, they are likely very innacurate and may be totally upside-down.  You'll understand why that is when you see the benzo-picture at the end.

--speaking of tests, the endoscopy & colonoscopy you have scheduled both have known risks and adverse effects...something I'm sure you'd like to avoid.  With the information I know now about your issues, I would advise cancelling them until you can increase your knowledge base.  You can always reschedule them.

--Your adrenals have definitely been overwhelming stressed by the Xanax - that's a 100% guarantee.  That doesn't mean there's something wrong with your adrenals - they are very likely responding exactly the way they are supposed to respond to this particular chemical exposure.

--All of this: >>>Eating junk food raises my ph to over 8. Yet veggies it stays pretty low an is always acidic In morning. But I'm so malnourished an anemic I have to eat food, can't live on veggies. I have hemp protein but I'm very sensitive an it gave me bad insomnia last time.... Maybe it was the hemp milk with the b12? B12 gives me bad insomnia an I usually wake up paralyzed in a dream at might.  I constantly feel like something bad is about to happen, something is gonna Junp out at me. My body keeps tensing up in anticipation . I have weird sensations alll over sometimes I feel like laughing hysterically an running, other times crying, other tines I shut down an dunno who or where I am. <<< and all of the insane fluctuations that you've recently reported and the fluctuation that follow?  ALL of them can be benzo related.  I know that's a seriously tough 'beach ball' to swallow, but it's going to make sense VERY soon.

What I suggest that you do (assuming you want my assistance) is that when you'r having a relatively 'calm window', sit down with your mom and make two lists - one containing ALL the symptoms and issues you can remember before you started taking Xanax (along with how long you've been taking it, and how much...and the same with any/all pharmaceutical drugs & otcs) - and the second list should include ALL the symptoms and issues you can remember or are experiencing since 2-4 weeks after you started taking the Xanax.

-->>>  I've tried ashwangadaga whatever, it gave me bad insomnia worse then now <<<  Two points -

1) whatever you try when you're experiencing benzodiazepine symptoms (frustratingly) doesn't indicate much of anything.

2) if the Ashwangandha you tried was in capsule form and/or not certified organic, then the toxins/chemicals in the capsules or the herb itself could be responsible for 'reaction'

-->>>So work on cleaning bowels first ? That's my plan. That an gettin off Xanax.<<<  The very first thing you must do before "gettin off the Xanax" is to  "stabilize" by switching to a different benzodiazepine with a longer half-life.  More on that later. You can use the IF#1 for accomplishing bowel movements, but no 'deep cleaning' until you're stabilized.

-->>> I can do a coffee enema now for relief even if I'm backed up?<<<   During the time when the Coffee Enema is retained, the liver is cued into STRONG blood detoxification which could lower the blood/plasma level of the Xanax, which in someone as unstable & hyper-reactive as you are right now could induce immediate withdrawal symptoms.  The reduction of the drug level in the bloodstream is very minute, and isn't a concern when withdrawing off most pharmaceuticals (even the more addictive ones), but until you've reached a strong level of stabililty, I suggest you don't utilize Coffee Enemas.  Once you're stabilized, CE's are definitely an option for consideration

There are many types of enemas you could use at this point - plain water, chamomile, catnip, or virtually any calming herb.  What you want to avoid is any substance (such as activated charcoal or bentonite clay) or any therapy or protocol (such as saunas) that would diminish the level of benzodiazepine in your bloodstream.

-->>> Another thing what if I have leaky gut or illeocecal valve problems Am I still ok to start on IF#1?<<< Yes, let me know when/if you'd like specific information as to why.

--You have been given a LOT of very valid information throughout this thread...the most "valid"?  You can DEFINITELY get your life back and be vibrant and healthy again.

***

Disclaimer: The following information regarding benzodiazepines is meant to "paint a picture" that is easily understood - it is not meant to be 100% "scientifically persnickety perfect". 

GABA receptors are technically a kind of receptor in our brain that respond to the neurotrasmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) - this neurotransmitter is the main "inhibitory" chemical in our central nervous system.  If we stimulate our GABA receptors there is more "inhibition" throughout our entire body...this typically results in some level of sedation or calmness.  (GABA "calms" - Glutamate "excites")

Benzodiazepines and our GABA Sunflowers -

Throughout our brain are 'receptors' for various chemicals and neurotransmitters.  Some estimate nearly 40% or more of the receptors in our brain have some relation to GABA.  These are our inihibitory or 'calming' sensors...they can inhibit or 'calm' nearly everything in our body.  I like to think of the GABA receptors as our 'calming brigade of Sunflowers'.

The action of these radiant Sunflowers determine calmness.  When they are healthy, strong & active and have plenty of GABA, we have natural calmness throughout our body and mind.  For example, if the phone rings we don't "jump out of our skin"...because the Sunflowers are doing their job.  If we hear loud music or see brilliant colors, we don't have a panic attack...because the Sunflowers are inhibiting us from being over-excited.  If the kidneys put a teaspoon or two of urine in our bladder, we don't have to run to the bathroom...because of the the way our Sunflowers know to 'inhibit'.  When we eat something that may lower or raise our blood sugar, or stress our digestive tract...yep, the Sunflower Brigade has something to do with keeping things calm and level.  When we take a shower and are bombarded with sensory input from the pounding water, we are calm and enjoy it...because the Sunflower brigade is working exactly as it's supposed to work.  Go Sunflower Brigade!!!

There are other factors & flowers that involve calmness, but if we develop insomnia or anxiety (for whatever reason), it's very common in the US for a physician to prescribe a benzodiazepine.  Similar to the neurotransmitter GABA, the benozodiazepine drugs cause our GABA receptors to 'inhibit' and induce calmness.  But instead of doing it in a happy, healthy/natural way, benzodiazepines are evil.  The way a benzodiazepine makes our GABA receptors work, is to chemically 'shock' our Sunflowers and force them to work really really hard & harshly.

Everytime we take a benzodiazepine, our Sunflowers are chemically shocked.  That makes them 'stand up tall', be alert, and do their job...any because of this shock, they don't just do their job 'naturally', they do it like 10x 'harder & harsher' than they could ever have done it before.  That's why we feel far more calm when we take a benzodiazepine than we could ever feel naturally.

Now, depending upon many things in our body and how healthy or overworked the Sunflower Brigade was when we started taking benzos, in as little as 2-8 weeks the benzos can seriously exhaust our Sunflowers from the constant shocking and chemically-induced overwork.  So instead of the tall, strong, radiating Sunflowers we started with, they're now tired-out, wilting, drooping and brown around the edges :(

What does that mean?  It means that at some level or another our Sunflower Brigade has lost it's ability to 'inhibit' or 'calm' us...so symptoms start cropping up and things start going haywire.  But there's just no WAY we're going to imagine it's the benzodiazepine...because for weeks, months or even years the benzos made things CALMER, and we had no symptoms from them whatsoever.  What do we & the doctors assume?  Our anxiety, insomnia (or whatever it was that caused us to need the benzo in the first place) is getting worse.  So what happens?  We take more benzos, of course.  And lo & behold, that "works".  But it doesn't work because our original symptoms have worsened and we need more, it works because our Sunflower Brigade is weakened & pooped-out, and the only thing that can make them work is to chemically shock them harder. :(

What we have now is a true physical addiction...but unlike any other kind of physical addiction, simply weaning off the drug isn't the answer.  In fact, stopping or weaning off the benzo at this point in the game can produce devastating effects!  Our heart, brain, blood pressure, central nervous system and virtually every part of our body depends upon those Sunflowers...and if we lessen or take away the drug now, everything can go totally berserk.

Back to the Sunflowers, they need our help desperately.  The very first thing we have to do is to stop doing anything that weakens or hurts them further.  In this case (Xanax) is THE most harmful benzodiazepine there is.  Why? Because it has a half-life of only 6-12 hours.  What this means is that it shocks the Sunflowers really hard, really fast...and then it disappears - leaving the exhausted Sunflowers without any way of being strong and doing there job.  So it's shock-droop, shock-droop, shock-droop 24/7.  And when they're in the "droop" stage (possibly several times a day), we're experience major symptoms of withdrawal.  This is called 'tolerance withdrawal' or 'rebound withdrawal' or 'inter-dose withdrawal' (depending upon where you're reading).  This makes things MUCH worse all the way around.  What we need to do is switch from Xanax to a benzodiazepine that has a much longer half life.  That would be Klonopin/clonazepam (half-life 18-50 hours) or Valium/diazepam (half-life 20-100 hours).  That way instead of "shock-droop-shock-droop" and all the damage and symptoms it causes, we have a slow & level 'humming-shock-buzz' that relieves almost all of the symptoms (except the side-effects) and allows us to start withdrawing VERY slowly in a manner that doesn't stress or damaged our Sunflowers even more.

***

As you can imagine, when the Sunflower Brigade is damaged...that means the stress on the rest of our body is HUGE - and no system suffers more than the Adrenals.  Instead of the phone ringing and us responding with normal "Sunflower calm", we respond as though we just looked up and found ourselves staring at the headlights of an oncoming train!  And that means immediate "flight or fight" and huge amounts of adrenaline being released...and that can happen a zillion times a day.

It also means that our physical body goes berserk - and we can start experiencing all KINDS of symptoms that seem totally unrelated.  Heart palps, itchy/crawly skin, twitching, tooth pain, excessive urination, seizures, high/low blood pressure, food reactions (that are NOT food reactions at all), 'brain zaps', insomnia, tinnitus, high/low blood sugar, excessive belching or farting,  numbness, hot/cold fluctuations...absolutely anything that is related to our GABA system's inability to 'calm' whatever part of the body isn't being calmed. 

Mentally - emotionally?  extreme agitation, psychosis, paranoia, depression, anger, rage, sadness, despair, violence toward self or others, loss of memory/memory-impairment, agitation, nightmares, hallucinations, confusion, delirium, euphoria, depression, confusion, disorientation, mania, impulsiveness, loss of identity, disinhibition, suicide...and anything and everything in between.

And this can happen at any extreme or any time of the day or night...and it all depends upon the level of benzodiazepines in the bloodstream and the condition of the Sunflower Brigade.

Just imagine what horrors can occur when we place ourselves in the hands of unknowing physicians, psychiatrists and hospitals.  Countless aggressive tests that yield "nothing" except the damage done by the tests.  Countless drugs and therapies to treat issues that aren't even issues.  I've read of people having all their teeth pulled, surgery on their spinal cord, organs removed, heart implants, electro-shock "therapy", and of course...more and more "psych drugs" to try and somehow band-aid the symptoms (many which worsen the situation drastically).

Those who have experienced it personally or have assisted someone through it know it as two words: 

Benzo Hell.

***

But there IS good news!!!  The human body's ability to restore and heal itself (and your Sunflowers) is MIRACULOUS.  There are tens of thousands of people who have experienced it and are fully recovered (and many of these people are on support forums all over the internet).  The lower the dosage and the shorter the time you've been on it, the faster the recovery will be!!!  There are herbs we can take and therapies we can do to hasten the recovery and lessen the symptoms.  You now know what is happening and you won't EVER have to lose decades of your life while suffering through Benzo Hell unknowingly (like so many people have, because they and their doctors 'just didn't understand'.  

jboy, I know you may truly feel like there's absolutely nothing good about this situation (and I would understand that 100%).  But the truth is, at your age and this stage of your usage, you are likely to walk away from this almost totally unscathed.  I know you've suffered loss after loss after loss...but you CAN beat this thing and be totally in control of your life & health from the moment you start learning, understanding and fighting.  You have family that loves you, a secure place with food & shelter, and all the support on this forum that I (and everyone else) can possibly give.

You ARE going to beat this thing, and you ARE going be you again!  What you're experiencing is the effects of a chemical...IT IS NOT YOU!!!

There's so much more I want to share, but I know you need to see/read what I've got done now, now.  (And don't worry that you're not able to assimilate it all right now - it will all still be here for you whenever you find the energy & clarity).

Blessings,

Unyquity