Re: I need some Hugs:(

Well,

That flush was intense to say the least! It's been 6 hours since I took the mixture of lemon, grapefruit and oil and man oh man was it an emotional struggle just to do this thing today! Holy cow, even I couldn't believe it...

Yeah, my emotions are mirroring stuff that's been coming up for me in my personal life. Feeling alone, feeling unsupported. Feeling desperate at times. But even when that happens, I keep trying to turn it around. 'Cause I KNOW I'm NOT alone, that I AM loved and all that.

I also had a massage yesteday, the first time in a long time. A friend who used to study massage gave it to me. It was a bit harder than I would have liked (I have fibro) and I'd been in constant pain for weeks from knots, blockages, etc. Definitely today was a 'sit in the tub or in bed with blankets' sorta day. Instead I focused on the fact that I was sore, my leg hurt bad and I couldn't do some errands that I needed to do- but still I was going to flush. Even though I tried mentally to get out of it several times, I knew I had to.

I cried for the first couple of hours that I was laying down. I had memories come up. They have been coming up a lot lately- of my past, of stuff that happened in the last 12 years of being ill- details that I couldn't remember. I cried and I went through positive affirmations- I did a castor oil pack on my liver, and I fell asleep. I was in and out of consiousness for about 5 hours, slept (which never happens for me during a flush), had dreams (which very rarely ever happens at all) and awoke half an hour ago RAVENOUS and distinctly craving my grandmothers spaghetti and sauce (I had an apple and orange instead:) I assume this is ok, as I read once that Uny said that if she's hungry several hours after a flush, she does have something.

The last two days in Montreal have been very very warm and the breeze tonight is so lovely:) Sometimes the breeze is all it takes to save you, you know? ;)

I forgot to get coffee today, so I will run out early to get some for the enemas tomorrow. Man, I can't wait to see what comes out of me- my liver was gurgling before, sounds like I'd never heard it sing before! LOL.

Teresa.