Re: can you help?

Bluerose,

thank you so much for sharing a bit of yourself with me. :).

i can relate to much of what you've said and i, too, rely largely on intuition. that said, i cannot tell if if this urge to run from intimacy is my gut or my fear. that indecision in itself is what leads me to simple avoidance in this, as of yet, unresolved issue. in response to both your comment and wit_and_itch's, i did trust this man. i do not trust myself.

i'm also proud not to have succumb to self destructive behaviour, but survivor's guilt still plagues me. perhaps you were correct in identifying a partial lack of self love, in that my own happiness and advancement contrasts to that of my family's.

what is this fear of intimacy? for i feel that is more apt than lack of trust, but maybe they are the same.

i want to thank you again, Bluerose, as these correspondence have helped bring some clarity and seem to be helping me explore myself.