When man and woman marry, their bodies are no longer their own. They man's body belongs to his wife. The woman's body belongs to her husband. Not to abuse or misuse by doing anything that would be unwanted by the other. A man will find far greater happiness by setting his mind and intent on seeking to give his wife as much pleasure as possible rather than seeking only his own quick gradification. Some are very slow to learn this. What if you tell him you want to be there and participate in any sexual actifity? What would happen if you asked to be present and you beat if off for him even if he did not want to put the time and effort in pleasuring you? You deserve better. Keep us informed, please.